Live Your Life as If It Were a Comedy
The world is ridiculous. My life is just as open to mockery. Maybe that's the trade-off. If I can find myself to be a legitimate source of comedy, I get a pass on finding everyone else as a source of hilarity.
I Like to Watch | Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
While the world may be oversaturated with too much MCU, I'm not. I am, however, thinking Waititi might need a break. He is almost the MCU Joel Schumacher.
Crisis Headlines Are Not Helping
Despite the desperate need to spin reality, perspective is essential to keep your head from exploding like that dude in Scanners. Perspective is about wondering what the headlines might look like from a different angle than your baked-in certitude of moral authority dictates.
I Believe... [No More High School Drama, PLZ]
I believe... that with the state of society in 2022, a moratorium on high school dramas is in order. I get all the bitchy, judgmental bullying I need in line at the grocery store.
Without Honors
It’d been 5 days since the assembly fuck-up. The house was like a morgue. Nobody’d talked to nobody. I worked as much overtime as they threw at me just to stay away.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 10, 2022
Poor Ivanka, Don Jr., and Eric Trump. The wrong parent died.
I Like to Watch | Elvis (2022)
Like The Greatest Showman—a movie musical that completely reframes the huckster P.T. Barnum into an equity-chasing social justice type—this is not intended to be an accurate biopic. It is a meditation on the legend that was Elvis Presley.
Pictures of Universe Believed to Be Side of God’s Stoner Van
This van is cosmically designed to get down.
I Believe... [Heartbroken Woody]
...that all the Toy Story movies are actually about divorce.
The Inner Monologue is Making Me Nuts
I'm having a hard time getting motivated.
A Case for Optimism (sans Rose-Colored Glasses)
Optimism is an act of resilience against the brutal harshness of living the existential crisis.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 3, 2022
The thing is… mass gun violence just pissed off a lot of bored, rich Jewish moms… maybe this is what we’ve needed to get change made.
What You Write Tells Us Who You Are
This skinny, tattooed fucker told us what he was going to do. He wrote and posted videos telling anyone listening the plan. He isn't the outlier—most mass shooters write out their intent and display it to the world well before legally purchasing a weapon and unleashing their fury on bystanders.
Common Sense Solutions from the GOP Regarding Mass Shootings at Parades
Kevlar bunting.
American Rights, with a Bullet
I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted from living at the intersection of Rage and Sadness and not being able to do anything about it.
I Like to Watch | Best Movies to Watch for a Recently Divorced Man
When a man goes through a divorce—especially one predicated by infidelity —he is need of a few reminders and narratives.
I Believe... [Happy Fourth—Party in the ICU]
...that, admittedly, Independence Day this year feels a bit like throwing a party for friend in a coma from an awful car accident who has no health insurance. “I’m sorry, sir. You can’t shoot that bottle rocket off in here. This is the ICU.”
In My Solitude
So no, don’t quit your job and walk or hitchhike across America, as fun as that may sound.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Mickey turned and raised his eyebrows to him. “She smokes.” He inhaled from the depths of his belly, smiling, closing his eyes. “Smell that? What you think she does with those ashes?”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 26, 2022
Look on the bright side of things. The pandemic was a boon for hand sanitizer manufacturers and with Roe v. Wade overturned, the makers of Plan B are going to make a killing!
Being an escort for me was like being a scrapbooker on Etsy for most other single moms trying to pick up some extra money. The only difference was that I could make a few thousand bucks for one hour of potential discomfort versus making a few hundred for several hours of suffering through handmade clip art. I’m a pretty open-minded person, but I cannot for one second believe that there is any joy in being hunched over a desk, cutting and pasting other people’s memories together. It seems so lonely and juvenile.