You Don't Mess Around with Jim (after COVID and he has a gun now)
And you don't take a completely irrational population, after spending a few years in lockdown in fear of an invisible virus and prone to yelling at each other for either wearing or not wearing a cloth mask in a Sbarro, and give them unfettered access to the largest arsenal of personal weapons in history. It's just dumb. It's dangerous. It's catastrophic.
Darkness
“You alright?” asks the cop.
I try again. It’s harder and harder to breath. My chest.
“I can’t breathe. My sternum. It’s bursting out of my chest.” I lean on his car.
“Whoa there, fella, I just got it washed.”
“Please. Help me.”
The cop laughs. “Looks like you’re dying.” He stretches his arms back with a yawn, then straightens his hat. “Time for me go.”
“No.” Another gasp.
I Believe... [Rushin' Cancellations]
...that cancelling Russian food, Russian television show, Russian dressing, rushin’ around in traffic is a sign that Americans are a bit too dense to enter any European wars anytime soon.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 27, 2022
One of the Oath Keepers pleaded guilty to sedition. Could be going to jail for the better part of a decade. Boy, those antifa folks sure are committed to the mission.
Seven Things Learned from Taylor Sheridan's '1883'
1883 is the tale of the Dutton ancestors traveling along the Oregon Trail (just like the early video game most of us GenXers played on ancient home computers) on the way to Montana to settle the Yellowstone/Dutton ranch. Featuring Sam Elliot, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, and Isabel May, I gained an appreciation for Sheridan's work (he is the sole writer of every episode) and just finished it last night.
[From the Archives] America is Not the Amityville Horror or Poltergeist House
The house that is the United States, if it were an actual house, has plenty of flakey hemoglobin on the grounds.
I Believe... [Taiwanese Anxiety Disorder]
I believe... that the most nervous government on the globe right now is Taiwan.
Eggplant Toothpaste - Thoughts from Miles Tangine, Thought Leader
I’m not just a thought leader, I’m a thought breeder!
The Forgotten Woman in the Gold, Oval Frame
The woman stood in a gold, oval frame. The frame hung above the small desk in my grandparents’ bedroom for at least since I was born. This was the desk where my grandmother, Nonny, wrote notes and cards and checks. The desk where she kept things like pens and stationary and correspondence and a few important documents.
I Believe... [Nevada—Dumb But Fun]
...that Nevada has a worse record in education than Florida, Alabama, Georgia, and Mississippi which supports the conclusion that only the dumbest people gamble on the regular. We do have lots of booze and exposed boobs, so there’s a plus side, right?
I Like to Watch | Inventing Anna (2022)
Why did any of these people believe in her bullshit?
Because she didn't care if you liked her. Unlike everyone else among our affirmation-addicted bunch of apes, the Anna Delvey of Shondaland didn't give two shits what you thought of her or even if you bought her bullshit.
The Shabbos Goy
I was a Shabbos goy.
A Jewish Shabbos goy.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 13, 2022
I read a comic book to my son the other night at bedtime that I wrote. I haven’t read it since it was published six years ago. It’s not very good. Too wordy. When we finished it, the kid said, “I like that story.” He has terrible taste but is very kind.
Fin-Domme Diary - A Poem
If some clean-room elevator connected floors are
Getting treated like a meat market anyhow,
Then why shouldn’t this old steam engine bellwether
Deserve to be on retainer and on premises?
When the World is On Fire, Who Can Laugh About Anything?
What I miss most is the opportunity to just throw down and fucking laugh like an idiot about, well, anything.
Thank god for Jackass. I appreciate the not-so-gentle reminder.
I Believe... [Legitimate Political Discourse, My Ass]
...that justifying disruptive protests, riots, and looting as ‘legitimate political discourse’ cuts both ways and is horseshit regardless of which side claims it.
If Trust Builds a Society, the Absence of Trust Destroys It
I’m an optimist at heart. I also believe without finding a way to trust a few more people today and a few more tomorrow, to openly seek out those we feel we can trust, we’re fucked as a nation.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 6, 2022
I wish I had more time to iron my clothes, write my stories, and read more books. Instead, I fart through the wrinkles reading work emails with the TV on.
RNC WORKSHOP ON LEGITIMATE POLITICAL DISCOURSE
SOVENIRS! – Some call it looting, we call it keepsakes.
I Like to Watch | Magnolia (1999)
When I went to see Magnolia I discovered a film that captured this concept more clearly, more beautifully, than I could have ever conceived of myself. I was transcendent.
Being an escort for me was like being a scrapbooker on Etsy for most other single moms trying to pick up some extra money. The only difference was that I could make a few thousand bucks for one hour of potential discomfort versus making a few hundred for several hours of suffering through handmade clip art. I’m a pretty open-minded person, but I cannot for one second believe that there is any joy in being hunched over a desk, cutting and pasting other people’s memories together. It seems so lonely and juvenile.