RNC Guidelines for Choosing Your Republican Bride
If she’s attractive enough, your constituents will respect her.
The Art of Having a Job and Making a Life at the Same Time
The idea of the side hustle is not part of the new normal we've been predicting at the tail of this bizarre yet completely expected pandemic. The side hustle has always been with us. For all the hand-wringing about the evils of capitalism and greed and discriminating practices in the workplace, none of it is new.
I Believe... [The Bacon of Journalism]
...that the internet is the bacon of journalism if journalism was vegan and temptation to cut corners and justify bullshit got them a taste of that delicious pig.
The Partnership
9:30 am. It was already 95 degrees with a 1000% humidity. And it was only mid-June.
When I moved to St. Louis from Chicago in 1990 to take my first CEO job at The Jewish Hospital of St. Louis, I traded a lousy winter for an unbearable summer. 3 dress shirts a day to go with my suit. One more when I had an evening function to attend.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 28, 2021
Easter has been cancelled. They found the body.
Why We Gave Our Son Away
Parenthood requires sacrifice. Lots of it. A more optimistic person might say it’s not sacrifice but compromise, and to that I say they don’t know what they’re talking about. Over the last several years, my wife and I have been parents to a wonderful little human named Harrison. He’s intelligent, strong, funny, helpful, and kind. Most of the time anyway. He’s also a three-year-old toddler so he is also erratic, neurotic, sullen, mercurial, and violent. Why, just yesterday, he slapped me across the face after telling him I loved him. In a very tiny nutshell, that right there is parenthood. You give love, you get smacked in the face.
I’m Not Anti-Vax. I’m Anti-THIS-Vax!
I asked to speak to a manager and was rudely told to move along.
The Nine Circles of Offense
Offense is hell. It’s angering and frustrating and confusing and sometimes it feels eternal. Like the actual Hell, which is real because people who trust the Zombie God say so (happy Easter, by the way), there are a variety of meeting places for those who have been offended. And so, I present to you the Nine Circles of Offense. And if you’ve ever been offended, you’ll understandably recognize a few having visited that circle or circles before.
Advice Unsolicited | Ignore Your Social Circle
In this current McCarthyist state we’re playing around in, when met with your self-determined opinion (as opposed to following some strident party line) your social circle will likely turn to hyperbole and scorched earth rhetoric to both shame you into falling in line or paint the podcaster you listen to as evil.
I Believe... [It's the Guns, Morons]
...that the “needs of the many” are answered in bans on automatic, semi-automatic and pump-action shotguns.
Happy Birthday to Me. I'm 53. I Feel Old.
This past year, the year of the pandemic, is the year I grew old.
Authority is Always Wrong
Ten Things Harder to Acquire Than an Assault Weapon in America
I went to Walmart. No lawn darts. I went to a few sporting goods stores. Not a single fucking lawn dart to be had. Not even one that I could get stabby with or re-use thirty or forty times.
A guy at the counter of the Home Depot told me that they were called "Jarts" and they were illegal for purchase. Turns out a couple of kids got injured by lawn darts and they were banned for sale.
What the H, E, double hockey sticks!?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 21, 2021
If equity, equality, diversity, and inclusion infringe on your religious beliefs, you and your religion are wrong. Or, you’re an asshole.
Before You Go All-in on Antifa, Try Becoming Antifra First
The term fragile is very popular in 2021 but I'm not certain the people who use it as a political label have an understanding of what it means. The redefinition seems to be a synonym for defensive but that isn't even close to the original so it doesn't play. Considering how loaded the term has become politically, I'd suggest we take a look at the pre-DiAngelo meaning and embrace it some before we continue forcing the evolution.
Zoom! Pow! Splash! How I Became More Productive Working at Home During a Deadly Pandemic!
I am doing number two while talking to my number one client.
The Age of Faux Horror Embraces the Pearl-clutching of Ages Past
Is the hyperbole justified? Perhaps. With so much information swirling up around our necks like those quicksand pools in 1930’s movies set in Africa, maybe the only way to be heard in any form is to be over-the-top. There is, however, a razor’s edge between injustice revealed and complete silliness.
I Believe... [GenX Bliss]
I believe… that one of the current thrills of being GenX today is that I couldn’t give two shits about what’s going in any university, with Teen Vogue, or the Grammies.
I Like to Watch | Zack Snyder’s Justice League
To be fair to Whedon (something few are willing to do as he is now being castigated not for racism or sexism but for being mean to people) having him come in to throw in some levity and Marvel-esque color to Snyder's Wagnerian pomposity is like hiring Huey Lewis to lighten up Pink Floyd's The Wall or getting Douglas Adams to rewrite Cormac McCarthy's The Road.
People Gotta Eat
“I bought a store.”
His father stopped mid-scoop, spaghetti and neck bone dripping with sauce dangling only a few inches from his bristly chin. “A what?” Sounding as if the neck bone of the pig slaughtered for the family was now lodged deep in his throat.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.