The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump Live Tweets Gettysburg Address
ILIKE WAR HEROES THAT WEREN’T KILLED..
I Like to Watch | The Invisible Man (2020)
The skill required to make these spins on both popular culture and metaphorical storytelling is one of balance.
My Sleep Cycle is for Shit These Days
Lately, I’ve been waking up at least three times a night like a bolt of electricity has been shot through me.
I Believe… [Equal Opportunity Assholes]
I believe… that an added benefit of social media in Vegas is that I can spend a solid thirty minutes every morning blocking both Critical Race Theorists and MAGA turds in equal measure!
Not Within the Realm of Reasonable Expectations
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 26, 2020
Our home is so filthy, there’s a 30 percent chance my beard is just a gathering of my dog’s shedded hair.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Our COVID-19 Response
Masks are not a reliable replacement for breath mints.
Yes. Enough of the Non-Witnesses in Sexual Assault Allegations
I do not believe Tara Reade.
I Like to Watch | When Superheroes Return to Real Life
I have viewed a whole slew of these Marvel stars in completely different characters and, with few exceptions, the fact that Marvel managed to hire some of our best and brightest actors to imbue the MCU with talent cannot be lost in the translation.
I Believe… [The Pandemic 15 Is Truly American]
I believe… that only in America can we experience a pandemic followed by massive unemployment and restaurants closed down and still fucking gain weight.
Coronavirus Wishes and Genocidal Dreams
Wouldn’t that be something? If COVID-19 were a divine plague like the ten popularized by Cecil B. DeMille, we’d applaud the lord’s work. Take them! Take them, Lord! Snuff them out like you did with the Flood and those pesky Egyptian slave owners! Take the Mayor Goodmans and the President Trumps and the Governor Kemps and that woman hanging out of her car window like a white trash scrub. But, above all, dear Lord Almighty, take the Instagram influencers.
How Do You Know What You Know? A Lesson to Eighth Graders
Ignorance isn’t stupidity. Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. The remedy to ignorance is the opposite of certainty.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 19, 2020
If your concern over stay-at-home orders is because of the negative impact it may have on mental health, fuck you. Where was your concern over mental health before you couldn’t get your Starbucks each day?
The Sacrificial Lamb and What is Worth the Slaughter? Let’s Behead Carl!
The question isn’t do we put a price on human life but what costs do we place upon it. And this is answered within a framework of context.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Shelly’s Georgia Peach Hair Salon and Spa Reopens!
Check out this comb and shears… That’s a rake and a sharp knife on the end of a stick.
We Will Get Fooled Again...and Again...and Again
What we’re experiencing is not a “new” normal. It’s just normal.
The Economy Will Recover, it Just Won’t Resemble The Economy You’re Used to Living Within
In 1933, they didn’t have Netflix, booze delivered to your home, or Hot Pockets. The Joad’s didn’t have the option of a drive-thru Burger King.
I Believe… [It’s the Flags You Fly That Brand You a Dipshit]
I believe… that no matter how righteous your protest, as soon as you display that Confederate flag and those swastikas, we all know you’re an asshole.
Cleaning Toilets on Grave Yard Shift is a Trip, Man
Here’s a bit of knowledge to dole out. Drunk men are juvenile. They piss on stuff. They piss on the floor around the urinals. They piss on the toilet. They piss on full rolls of toilet paper. Like Storm Troopers in Star Wars, their aim is for shit.
Drunk women on the other side are monsters. Filthy and almost angry in the bathroom. Shit smeared on the walls. Used tampons stuck to the floor. Half-empty glasses left in the corners covered in lipstick. Half-eaten food on the sinks.
Finding Purchase In the Post-Pandemic Economy: Dystopia or a Brave New World?
The smartest among us are not focused on blame right now. The smartest among us are looking to science the shit out of the problem. The dumbest protest the solutions while offering nothing but noise in return.
Monte imagined approaching the counter.
“Hello, I hear Morgan Freeman narrating my life.”