I Like to Watch | Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Which is why, despite the miserable box office reception of Terminator: Dark Fate, I had high expectations. Linda Hamilton is back and looking badass! Someone gets it!
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 19, 2020
I hate how much old white people love the song “Uptown Funk.”
The Cat with the Key
Jane announced she would take her door key and tie it around the neck of a cat. The man who could get the key and unlock her front door would be the man she would marry.
Hope Idiotic | Part 42
We spend our lives surrounding ourselves with the right people and the right job and right amount of shit to call our own. Life is a puzzle. We gather the pieces and put each one in place, and when we can finally make out the picture, we’re complete. But then a piece is taken away or lost. People die. Friends become strangers, lovers lie. At best, we can still make out the picture, but it’s clear something is missing. And those pieces can never be replaced.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Senate Impeachment Trial RULES!
I also want to remind everyone that we took an oath of impartiality. - Oh. Sorry. I just shot milk out of my nose.
Hillary Clinton is an AR-15 Assault Rifle
Hillary Clinton should do what ex-presidents do: sit back, pop some popcorn, and watch the shitshow unfold. My God, the woman has earned that. She should relax, count her millions, enjoy time with her grandchildren. She should write more books. But no more about her successes or her failures or how her failures aren’t her fault. She should write political thrillers. I would love to read a novel ripe with House of Cards-type intrigue, murder, sex, and corruption. Who knows that shit better than our girl HRC? Perhaps only her husband. (And please note, I’m not calling the Clintons corrupt, although, they did have Jeffrey Epstein killed, right? No? Oh, okay.)
Trip Report | Day 4: Grand Junction, Colorado
Not to make a metaphor out of everything, but my problem with this trip is my problem with this life: I want every possible future, so I distrust any choice that limits me to just one.
You Chose It, You Live It
I think it’s safe to assume that if I choose to be anxious and angry that a massive asshole is our president, I must want to be anxious and angry. If I choose to be bored and uninspired by the work I do, I must want to be bored and uninspired. If I choose to blame some Other for my sorry place in life, I must want to find someone to blame rather than better my place. I chose these things and these states of mind.
I Believe… [How Many Passwords Must I Remember?]
…that if Windows was a more secure platform you wouldn’t have to change your fucking work passwords so goddamned often.
Hope Idiotic | Part 41
Mark decided to move to New York, which meant Lou was down his best friend in Chicago and had to find his own apartment. Mark came with him on the final walk-through. It was a two-bedroom just a few blocks away from where they had been living. Lou liked the neighborhood, and the rent was right where he needed it to be. It wasn’t the flashiest apartment—the walls bulged out in certain spots, the kitchen floor sloped ever so slightly, the rooms were small, and although Michelle would have thought it was a total shithole, it was just what Lou needed.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | Danglers All Fancy! Swolling With Juice!
When dusky and musky
Thresholdies do swain,
Two blombers all gwishy
To thromble their vein.
No, Roxanne Gay, Diversity and Quality Are Not Synonymous
A dish with lots of ingredients is not de facto better than a dish with few ingredients. A painting with more colors is not automatically better than one with fewer. And art with multiple cultural influences and perspectives is not better than art with a more singular approach.
Of Course He Fucking Said That
If your defense of Bernie is, “Bernie would never say that,” then you’re lying to me or to yourself. Of course Bernie would have said that. Men who pride themselves on being woke have said exactly that to me or within my hearing. I think nearly everyone I know has at least whispered the question: Can a woman win? None of us know yet if the answer is yes.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 12, 2020
I’d rather have lunch with a Grand Wizard of the KKK than with a teed up woke white person. The Grand Wizard lunch will be far more civilized.
I Like to Watch | Star Wars (like, 90% of it...)
On the surface, it has everything a Star Wars junkie could want: great space battles, amazing lightsaber duels, bizarre new characters, callbacks to the previous eight chapters. I cried a few times, I laughed some, and I enjoyed the ride.
Hope Idiotic | Part 40
It wasn’t that Lou was hung up on Michelle, it was that the past three years of his life had been so focused around her. She was central to everything, and it was all he had to talk about. Talking about anything before The Age of Michelle seemed entirely out of context. That’s the hardest part about breakups: finding a new definition of yourself. Since the breakup, Lou had continued sinking in a sea of whiskey and cigarette smoke while searching for that new definition among the fragments of the past three years. He didn’t talk about Michelle because he missed her; he talked about her because he didn’t know how not to.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Sin of Rainbow Cake
God – Rainbows are one of my best creations. I was very high when I made them.
Equality or Equity? The Slow Crawl to a Planet Fitness World
It’s like going to Planet Fitness where core in its marketing is that you can go to the gym and not have to work out that hard and pretend you are advancing your health with as little resistance as possible.
Trip Report | Day 3: Fort Collins, Colorado
Newbie tip: Chili and enchilada casserole are two good things to make and freeze for your RV adventure, but you don’t necessarily want to serve them at the same meal.
I Believe… [Both Can Be Right]
…that Soleimani was a terrorist monster who deserved to be killed and Trumpenstein is a horrible man deserving of impeachment and removal from office. Both can be true so quit bending yourself into pretzels in existential crisis.
Nathan Fielder’s latest cinematic performance art project is an open ended question of how we perceive reality.