You Chose It, You Live It
I think it’s safe to assume that if I choose to be anxious and angry that a massive asshole is our president, I must want to be anxious and angry. If I choose to be bored and uninspired by the work I do, I must want to be bored and uninspired. If I choose to blame some Other for my sorry place in life, I must want to find someone to blame rather than better my place. I chose these things and these states of mind.
I Believe… [How Many Passwords Must I Remember?]
…that if Windows was a more secure platform you wouldn’t have to change your fucking work passwords so goddamned often.
Hope Idiotic | Part 41
Mark decided to move to New York, which meant Lou was down his best friend in Chicago and had to find his own apartment. Mark came with him on the final walk-through. It was a two-bedroom just a few blocks away from where they had been living. Lou liked the neighborhood, and the rent was right where he needed it to be. It wasn’t the flashiest apartment—the walls bulged out in certain spots, the kitchen floor sloped ever so slightly, the rooms were small, and although Michelle would have thought it was a total shithole, it was just what Lou needed.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | Danglers All Fancy! Swolling With Juice!
When dusky and musky
Thresholdies do swain,
Two blombers all gwishy
To thromble their vein.
No, Roxanne Gay, Diversity and Quality Are Not Synonymous
A dish with lots of ingredients is not de facto better than a dish with few ingredients. A painting with more colors is not automatically better than one with fewer. And art with multiple cultural influences and perspectives is not better than art with a more singular approach.
Of Course He Fucking Said That
If your defense of Bernie is, “Bernie would never say that,” then you’re lying to me or to yourself. Of course Bernie would have said that. Men who pride themselves on being woke have said exactly that to me or within my hearing. I think nearly everyone I know has at least whispered the question: Can a woman win? None of us know yet if the answer is yes.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 12, 2020
I’d rather have lunch with a Grand Wizard of the KKK than with a teed up woke white person. The Grand Wizard lunch will be far more civilized.
I Like to Watch | Star Wars (like, 90% of it...)
On the surface, it has everything a Star Wars junkie could want: great space battles, amazing lightsaber duels, bizarre new characters, callbacks to the previous eight chapters. I cried a few times, I laughed some, and I enjoyed the ride.
Hope Idiotic | Part 40
It wasn’t that Lou was hung up on Michelle, it was that the past three years of his life had been so focused around her. She was central to everything, and it was all he had to talk about. Talking about anything before The Age of Michelle seemed entirely out of context. That’s the hardest part about breakups: finding a new definition of yourself. Since the breakup, Lou had continued sinking in a sea of whiskey and cigarette smoke while searching for that new definition among the fragments of the past three years. He didn’t talk about Michelle because he missed her; he talked about her because he didn’t know how not to.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Sin of Rainbow Cake
God – Rainbows are one of my best creations. I was very high when I made them.
Equality or Equity? The Slow Crawl to a Planet Fitness World
It’s like going to Planet Fitness where core in its marketing is that you can go to the gym and not have to work out that hard and pretend you are advancing your health with as little resistance as possible.
Trip Report | Day 3: Fort Collins, Colorado
Newbie tip: Chili and enchilada casserole are two good things to make and freeze for your RV adventure, but you don’t necessarily want to serve them at the same meal.
I Believe… [Both Can Be Right]
…that Soleimani was a terrorist monster who deserved to be killed and Trumpenstein is a horrible man deserving of impeachment and removal from office. Both can be true so quit bending yourself into pretzels in existential crisis.
Hope Idiotic | Part 39
Brother, do not blame yourself for Chuck’s death. He was on a course to destruction. If it hadn’t been your house, it would have been someone else’s or the highway or by a policeman’s bullet.
If anything, it’s my fault.
The Conundrum of Age: As Times Passes, Our Fellow Passengers Disembark
We tend to take it for granted that living a long life is an inherently good thing. A desirable outcome to living is to live as many years as we can get.
What They Found Out
Those who over or under think things, often with the aid of or deficit in chemicals in the brain, say I and You hang out together purely at the discretion of the great We (which is a hilariously name for the aforementioned but as yet unproven everything…because it sounds like “wee”).
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 5, 2020
A poor tradesperson always blames their tools. A good tradesperson blames their union and buys new tools.
Do You Have Any Lotion?
I woke up angry. I always wake up angry. I eat my breakfast toast angry. I get dressed angry and put on my makeup angry. I adjust my hair angry. I reapply one of my damn press-on nails that always falls off in my sleep. Somewhere in the hill of sheets is a mountain of lost press-on nails. I don’t drink coffee or tea or juice. I don’t need a morning pick-me-up because I’m wound up from the start. Anger is my morning fuel and I love how it tastes. It makes me happy.
Hope Idiotic | Part 38
“When he was done, I stood up and said, ‘Hey! What the fuck are you doing?’ Then I punched him in the face. I almost knocked his ass out and right into the pool.”
“Hang on a minute. You said, ‘When he was done.’ Do you mean that you woke up and even after you saw Cal Keller was giving you a blowjob, you kept letting him? So, you actually finished.”
R.J. stopped pacing. “Well, yeah. I mean, I was drunk. I didn’t know what was going on at first. Not until I blew my wad.”
“Oh, my God, R.J. Okay, so then what happened?”
“I made him take me to the ATM and made him give me all of his money in his account or I’d beat him to death.”
“You mugged the guy after he sucked you off? And how much money did you get?”
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Southern White House & Spa
Trump – Nothing but bad hombres in Iran.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.