Joe Janes 6/19/19 Joe Janes 6/19/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | How to Win a Presidential Election

You want women, boy, do we have women! Va-Va-Vavoom! Grab ‘em by the policy!

Kari Castor 6/19/19 Kari Castor 6/19/19

I Am Constantly Relearning How to Love my Body

Sometimes I take selfies and I post them on the internet. I wonder if people will think I’m vain, but then I think that liking my appearance enough to be vain is itself a kind of victory.

Don Hall 6/18/19 Don Hall 6/18/19

Running the Marathon Rather Than the Sprint

The problem with being a sprinter is the misconception that a marathon is just a series of sprints making up twenty-six-point-two miles. It doesn’t work that way. Sprinting uses up all the energy for short term gains and is unsustainable for twenty-six miles in any genuine fashion. A marathon requires planning, patience, and a sense of perseverance that eludes the sprinter.

Don Hall 6/17/19 Don Hall 6/17/19

I Believe… [Gambling is Basically Buying Hope]

...that nothing is more desolate than an empty casino; nothing is more exciting than a full one. A whole room full of people buying bits of hope is a gas.

Don Hall 6/17/19 Don Hall 6/17/19

An Open Letter to a Late Stage Incel

I hear you, sitting in your room, typing furiously away about how lonely you are and how angry it makes you that, for some unexplained reason, women don’t find you companionable.

I mean, instead of looking hard at yourself and your behavior, your borderline social retardation, your obsessive compulsive mania, it’s just easier to find someone else to blame.

Elizabeth Harper 6/16/19 Elizabeth Harper 6/16/19

An Essay about James Joyce’s Leopold Bloom for Bloomsday

In honor of Bloomsday on June 16, I’ve dug out the paper I wrote in high school about Leopold Bloom, the main character in James Joyce’s Ulysses.

David Himmel 6/15/19 David Himmel 6/15/19

Long Train Running: A Chicago Marathon Story | Chapter 2 — The Cost of This

Bomb shelters, makeshift bunkers mean certain death. To survive, we must keep moving. Word of clean air has spread like gossip. It’s always just over that ridge or two clicks beyond that hill. And so we run. Speed, strength, and endurance are our only hope for survival. This is our marathon.

David Himmel 6/14/19 David Himmel 6/14/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 9, 2019

If someone asks you to not yell at them and you respond by yelling, “I’M NOT YELLING AT YOU!” you’ve revealed your true intentions.

Guest User 6/14/19 Guest User 6/14/19

Sticky Valentine - An Erotic Fiction

Side one ended as the bed started to squeak. We stopped and snickered and shifted and slowed down. We were both super close even before we got started, but when we came we shuddered breathlessly next to each other like open barn doors in a heavy storm.

Elizabeth Harper 6/13/19 Elizabeth Harper 6/13/19

The Zen of Death Cleaning | Part 2

I stayed in the house by myself. I don’t mind being by myself for long periods of time. I didn’t wear makeup or a bra, since no one would see me. I could have walked outside, but there’s nowhere to walk to, no Walgreens or Starbucks or friendly neighborhood bar with local bands playing or an open mic night. I’m eating through the frozen food in the freezer, Stouffer’s, Trader Joe’s, etc. and drinking the booze, and thank goodness there’s some good booze.

Joe Janes 6/12/19 Joe Janes 6/12/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Stand-Up Club

These didn’t seem like jokes. More like a cry for help.

Jenni Thurston 6/12/19 Jenni Thurston 6/12/19

The Survival of Icarus

Kisses and grins, palms pressed, they raced through the forest with the glee of children. Naked and free, strong and alone, Icarus and Apollo at last could be together.

David Himmel 6/11/19 David Himmel 6/11/19

My Grandmother’s Death Presents a Journalistic Regret and a Literary Goldmine

When my grandmother, Joyce Himmel, died on May 11, it marked the end of a very long era. She was just two-and-a-half weeks shy of turning ninety-five. She wasn’t sick, really. A near perfect picture of health and resilience for the better part of a century, in the final minutes of the fourth quarter, her heart just wore out. It was quick and peaceful. Hard to complain about. She had a long and happy and thrilling life.

I could say more, so much more, but this isn’t about Nonny as much as its about her book club.

Don Hall 6/10/19 Don Hall 6/10/19

I Believe… [Pride Should Be Justified]

…that one should demonstrate pride in something accomplished rather than mere existence. Thus, Gay Pride (because of the accomplishments over generations of stigma) and not Straight Pride (because what the fuck did we have to overcome except the lazy task of consistent acceptance?). I mean, I’m straight but I can’t say it’s necessarily anything to be proud of.

Don Hall 6/10/19 Don Hall 6/10/19

I Like to Watch | Dark Phoenix

Less than technological advances, I’d argue the primary reason superhero movies are the Big Gorilla in cinema today is about the casting.

Don Hall 6/9/19 Don Hall 6/9/19

No Chains, No Imprisonment

"Unless there are actual chains and bars, your imprisonment is in your mind."

David Himmel 6/8/19 David Himmel 6/8/19

Long Train Running: A Chicago Marathon Story | Chapter 1 — Ready, Set, Ouch

What was I thinking?

I’m running the Bank of America Chicago Marathon. Why? Because I’m forty. Because I haven’t run a marathon before. Because I need an excuse to get off my writer’s ass and move so I can live long enough to not die. Because I believe in the mission of Gilda’s Club Chicago and fundraising by running seems to be a pretty great way to get money out of your friends and family. So I am running as a member of Team Gilda.

But my god, I’m behind the ball on this.

David Himmel 6/7/19 David Himmel 6/7/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 2, 2019

Does Elmo go to school? Because I wouldn’t mind seeing that little red monster take a bullet in a school shooting.

Don Hall 6/7/19 Don Hall 6/7/19

Whose Idea Is It Anyway? The Terminator, The Infinite Wrench, and BUGHOUSE!

The format [curated open mic storytelling] is a rich canvas for the different shows to create new improvements on the skeleton and flesh it out in their specific artistic way. The format wasn’t stolen or plagiarized in these cases so much as stripped of specificity and re-clothed in improvements, making wholly unique live experiences for a completely different audience.

Contributing Writer 6/6/19 Contributing Writer 6/6/19

Hank, Unedited

It's an early morning in September, twenty years in the future. MOM is driving her son HANK to school. Hank is an ordinary-looking child of 10 who suffers from a rare genetic disorder, Brittanicus Affectavus Horribulis.