Notes from the Post-it Wall — An Uncle's Thanksgiving Edition
• With a holiday where near everyone is so obsessed with overeating for completely irrational reasons, it's refreshing to sit next to my nephew as he tries to weasel out of eating five more Skittles-size bites of turkey. I'm with you, kid. Enough is enough. Put the fork down, Fat America.
Small World
The sand almost burned the spaces in between my toes, but felt delicious. Little stubs of thick and thin palm shoots would poke up into your feet if you didn't walk carefully.
When the plateau melted the blue water came into view. Sure enough there it was- three figures on a mid-sized daysailer. No chop, but close, and the broadsheet was full. Two orange stripes and the number D-850 standing out near its apex.
Unpacking Branson: A Thanksgiving Improbability
For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Mrs. Reardon Meets with the Help about Thanksgiving
Thanks. Giving. Thanks - We are thankful for the opportunity to be together and eat food. Giving - I am giving up my free time to do so.
The Principle of The Thing Paints Us All in a Corner
If you ever watched The People's Court, you were assailed with court cases that often were as petty as they come. Neighbors suing neighbors for cutting down trees, going to court against family for a George Foreman grill that was left and won't be returned, rage-filled people suing each other over slights and financial hardships that amounted to children spatting with each other over stolen marbles.
It was always more about the Principle of The Thing than The Thing.
Good To The Last Drop
There aren't ANY white people. Science and your own weird rules just killed them all!
I Believe... [We Are Poised to Lose 2020]
...that the Progressive slogan for Election 2020 is now officially "Cutting Off Our Noses to Spite Our Faces."
Black Friday is Way Scarier Than Halloween
When asked about the upcoming holiday, I get all tingly thinking about the roasted turkey, the creamy mashed potatoes, the gravy, the yams! But that’s not what others think about, anymore. They stuff themselves at noon and put their boots on and are waiting in stores for the Black Friday sales before their turkey has even reached their small intestine. Oh, but what about family time? Well, hell, bring the kids, send them out on their own little mission to find that marked-down item in the catalog! Don’t forget to put them in helmets and full body armor, the crowds get pretty rough.
Turning Into Margaret Dumont
We were the Grouchos! We’re not the Margaret Dumonts — and we’re turning into the Margaret Dumonts on a lot of levels. That lets the misogynists and homophobes and racists seem like the rebels: “Well, we’re saying what people can’t say anymore.” We should be having way more fun with language and jokes and going too far. If our side starts doing that, then I think we’re fucked in terms of moving forward as a society. -- Patton Oswalt
When Crowdfunding Resembles Opportunism or The Greed in Your Ask is Getting Obvious
I most recently joined the World of Crowdfunding with my new Patreon Campaign. I’m torn as, in general, I’ve seen far too many of these efforts resemble either a corrupt civil servant trying to raise money for bail or legal fees, someone desperately using it as a replacement for medical insurance, or Ian Belknap using GoFundMe to help pay for an office space so he doesn’t have to deal with his kids at home while churning out pedantic screeds on Faceborg.
Go ahead and Google “crowdfunding abuse” and the list is long and ugly.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of November 12, 2017
• Few things bring me greater relief than deleting The Walking Dead from my DVR.
• Update resume.
• Do the best you can not to panic and shit the bed any more than you already have this month. You’re beginning to stink and are flinging your own shit everywhere.
American Online and the Dial-Up Generation
I know social media is here to stay and that people will continue to quite literally live their lives inside these forums, but let's all agree, if we're going to continue to make this virtual world the main place where most modern socialization takes place, let's do it with some manners and some grace.
Trusting Hope Over Experience: The Shedding of the Old
“Everything I had built in the past 15 years just went up in smoke. It’s gone. I mean, what the fuck do I do now?”
My friend had gone through one of those tribulations that involved losing status within the community of artists he was a part of, losing his job on top of that, and flailing his now beaten down limbs in search of what he was supposed to do, who he was supposed to be, after the dust had settled.
I understood the feeling.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Improv Team Meeting/Rehearsal
Martin needs to stop trying to kiss women in scenes. We will no longer “yes, and-” his tongue.
Born Angry
Some family stories get repeated over and over, become the stuff of legends. One such story is about when my mother was pregnant with me, and, from inside the womb, I was kicking so hard that I kicked the newspaper she was reading off her lap. Writing this now, I wonder if it was possible that the news was making me mad even then.
What Price to Admit Error?
I was also wrong about Louis C.K. Sure, when I made my semi-defense of the man no one had actually come out and declared that he was a sick asshat who just couldn't stop exposing himself to women, but I was still wrong. Joe, however, was dead right. C.K. has made his mea culpa and we'll see if he makes amends. But I was WRONG.
I Believe...[Outing Spacey Doesn't Erase the ShitShow That Was "Rent"]
...that, if you're going to carry around a palm-sized supercomputer that cost you a grand and is made almost entirely of in your back pocket, you probably shouldn't treat it like a disposable burner phone. The computing power to send NASA to the moon should not be so carelessly stashed that close to your bunghole, bro.
We Built This Shitty
If we believe in America, we have to know that all sides of America are America too. That means America is nauseous right now. Maybe the fact that both sides see each other as other is the biggest sickness we as a national entity have.
Chicken Little Was a Fucking Lunatic
Perhaps it's time to admit that maybe these are all acorns and the lunatic Chicken Little Syndrome is now ours to acknowledge. The Right owned it for eight years and now it's ours.
The Musical Mr. M
The music moved me, music that I was creating with my own breath and hands. It was the most real form of magic I’d ever discovered. I learned in those early days what incredible emotion could be found in music. To a young writer, music became a battery in which I could charge inspiration and draw energy.
The second voice arrived on Thursday morning while Monte was attempting to make toast.