...that life is laundry. It’s a pain in the ass, seems completely pointless but, man, it’s grand to have a pair of clean underwear.

...that the excuse for one’s poor behavior “it’s a cultural thing” is its own form of casual racism—being on time, respecting the time of others, and functioning for the benefit of the whole have nothing to do with culture.

...that a monster truck event at a rural state fair is just a different sort of Pride parade.

...that the unexamined life is not worth living (Socrates). The over-examined life is just a drag.

...that most people out in the world have wildly misinterpreted what the word ‘community’ means.

...that the answer to the question “What did I do to deserve this?” is “You lived long enough to endure it.” Any other answer is a fairy tale or self flaggelation.

...that no single person should ever order a large pizza with the intent of saving some for the next few days. It’s a lie you tell yourself and you will fall for it every time.

...that when confronted with a name-dropper, the best course of action is to counter-name drop fictional bands. “Yeah. I saw the Anal Beads in a dive bar before they became big! The lead singer of the Flaming Colonoscopy Bags once bought me a beer in between sets.”

...that Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 reminds us how good the MCU can be.

...that anyone who manages to take a decent looking driver’s license photo is to be closely watched for mayhem as they are likely supernatural or alien.

...that Elon Musk is the bastard son of Andy Kaufman and wreaks havoc as a continuation of his father’s legacy.

...that the challenge of being a single adult is that there is no one around to say “Honey? Maybe that brick of cheese and craft beer could wait until tomorrow.”

I believe... that the twin consumer responses to John Wick Chapter 4 and the Hogwart’s Legacy video game seems to indicate that the plurality of Americans love guns and shrivelfigs.

...that anyone obsessed with March Madness basketball needs to back up a step when they judge me for digging comic book movies. We all go nuts for the things we loved as children.

...that sometimes, in lieu of a To-Do list which is based on accomplishing things within the day, a To-Don’t list might be as helpful in avoiding the things that defeat us in small but significant ways.

...that a man who is no longer looking for a romantic partner and isn’t seeking out new friends is the most free he will ever be as he no longer has anyone he needs to impress.

...that the best reaction to the release of my latest book is “I’d like a signed copy. But not by you.”