...that the ocean is an abstract concept for millions of Americans. Wanna get people to take cleaning it up seriously? Get ‘em to the beach for a day and experience it once.

I Believe... that the lack of civil discourse and thoughtful debate is a result of a poisoning of the public well that sickens everyone who drinks from it.

...that, perhaps it’s shitty of me, I mentally place every single COVID death due to refusal to get a free vaccine in the Darwin Awards drawer. Sort of like thousands of idiots taking selfies on cliffs only to fall to their death. Lemmings be lemmings, bro.

...that vaccination passports to gain entry into any public place or gathering outside the home should be required nationwide. No vaccine for you, no fun for you, fuck-o.

...that when the vast majority of Americans are on the spectrum of sociopathy, calling someone a sociopath is sort of like saying “He’s just like most of us.”

...that, with the full-on mouth-breathing, drooling crop of idiots on fire about the last presidential election, the 2022 midterm elections will resemble nothing if not a WWE Tournament of Retards. At least it’ll be entertaining…

...that in our further policing of language, we should definitely move away from the term “asshole” and use the less oppressive term “outward facing anal pore”.

...that creating lotteries and prizes for people getting vaccinated is no different than giving your kid a dollar for eating his broccoli. It wastes the dollar and sets up expectation for extortion for basic common decency. Next Up: state-sponsored Visa Gift Cards if you wear a self belt or refrain from beating up an old Asian woman.

...that the cost of being seen is that you might actually be seen.

I believe… that, if we truly want to turn back climate disaster, an embrace of nuclear power is absolutely necessary. It’s clean, abundant, and contributes a zero sum carbon footprint.

...that the culture wars ongoing are no different than the culture wars fought in the 90s except with social media the exponential growth of extremist crackpots makes it seem so much more pressing. We didn’t know how many idiots were out there in the 90s because we weren’t subject to their crazy yet.

...that volunteering your time and energy is more helpful than your money or your social media approval.

...that a policeman who can’t tell the difference between a taser and a pistol should not have a pistol ever.

...that your feelings are always valid but your reaction may not be an appropriate response. Your anger is valid; your follow-up tantrum combined with destroying property is not. Your desire for attention is valid; your follow-up shit-tweeting to get it is not.

...that the internet is the bacon of journalism if journalism was vegan and temptation to cut corners and justify bullshit got them a taste of that delicious pig.

...that the “needs of the many” are answered in bans on automatic, semi-automatic and pump-action shotguns.