The Patriot Protection Act declares a one-mile radius around the White House to be “lava”.

He’s the busiest president ever – he does a lot of golfing, standing at podiums, shifting in his seat, tweeting.

As I watched the barrage of questions our representatives dutifully prepared, and the ease with which a professional litigator of Barr’s caliber deflected them, I realized that the dream of America as the land of the free and the home of the brave, is nearly dead.

The whole thing was tainted with anti-Trump bias from the start. According to the president who gave me this job. 

It’s been a rough week for progressives, mostly because fucking democrats can’t wait to fall on their fucking swords at any given opportunity. Hey, democrats; a bit of advice: before you Seppuku, how about we see the actual Mueller Report first?

Please, take a look. 

The following is a recounting of a dream had by Laura DuBois, age 36. It was documented at the American Dream Institute for Dreams (ADID) in Washington D.C. on Monday, March 25, 2019. Here, Ms. DuBois explains her dream to ADID researchers.

Just three days after the release of the Mueller Report, with impeachment proceedings occurring at an insanely rapid pace, Trump had a massive heart attack on Air Force One while flying to Mar-a-Lago. The next day, while in the ICU at some janky Florida hospital where abandoned pet boa constrictors were the orderlies, he had another massive heart attack and died. That means no more Tweets from Donald Trump!

I hope we get to hold them down and carve a giant “T” into their thick fucking skulls before this is all over — although I imagine history has far worse in store for them. The “T” is for Traitor, of course, although that word will become synonymous with Trump in due time.