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The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker
July 30, 2026
David Himmel
The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker
July 30, 2026
David Himmel

Andy disassembled his weapon with lighting speed. He packed it away in the black backpack made specifically for a weapon of this sort. He bolted to the roof access door as fast as his little, chubby legs would carry him. He made his way through the condo/office building stairwell without being noticed just as he had done on his way up. Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.

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July 30, 2026
David Himmel

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Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 25, 2021
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 4/30/21 David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 4/30/21

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 25, 2021

The most uninteresting conversations in the English language will include the following statements: “The land value alone makes it a great investment,” “Cryptocurrency is the future of financial markets,” and “I went to summer camp.”

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Thank Trump!
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 4/15/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 4/15/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Thank Trump!

No one be thanking God if they survive. They’ll be thanking Donald Trump.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Trump's Perfect Call to the CDC
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 3/4/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 3/4/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Trump's Perfect Call to the CDC

I just wanted to tell you that I am doing a terrific job.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Official White House Response to the Caronavirus
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/26/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/26/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Official White House Response to the Caronavirus

We should also take all those cancer-causing windmills along the coasts and borders and point them out toward the oceans.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Presidential Medal of Rush
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/5/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/5/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Presidential Medal of Rush

I want my State of the Union speech to melt all the snowflakes across America, like if climate change were a real thing.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Space Poop Jesus!
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 12/11/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 12/11/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Space Poop Jesus!

“Where you see one set of footprints is where I continued walking and you took a golf cart.”

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Presidential Pardons
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/20/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/20/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Presidential Pardons

I have a lot of respect for soldiers who don’t say bad things about me.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Presidential Boos News
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/6/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/6/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Presidential Boos News

I killed the leader of ISIS, the most dangerous man in the world since Hilary Clinton.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Lynching Lite
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 10/23/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 10/23/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Lynching Lite

Are you telling me white people aren’t allowed to be lynched? That’s racist!

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Kellyanne and George Conway Eat Dinner
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 10/16/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 10/16/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Kellyanne and George Conway Eat Dinner

Nothing can taint my experience of enjoying this steak.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump’s Homeless Solution
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 9/18/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 9/18/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump’s Homeless Solution

What if we made homeless people pretty?

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting I Always Remember Trump
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 9/11/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 9/11/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting I Always Remember Trump

This will be a 9/11 people will never forget!

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump 2026
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/24/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/24/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump 2026

Mike Pence had a breakdown last year and moved to Key West and does drag shows under the name Ernest SOHeminGAY!

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/20/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/20/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force

We’re being SUED and then we’ll be SUED again until it goes to the supreme COURT and we win when Kavanaugh’s vote butt CHUGS it in people’s faces.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting — Witch Hunt!
Minutes of Our Last Mtg, Joe Janes Joe Janes 8/22/18 Minutes of Our Last Mtg, Joe Janes Joe Janes 8/22/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting — Witch Hunt!

Trump: Remember last week when everyone was freaking out about me saying n*gg*r on a tape somewhere? 

Kelly: Every week makes me nostalgic for the week before.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The “N” Word
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 8/15/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 8/15/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The “N” Word

Trump: I just want to go on record and say that I have never said the word n#gg#r. 

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Space Force – USS Trump 1776-D Emergency Officers Meeting
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 6/20/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 6/20/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Space Force – USS Trump 1776-D Emergency Officers Meeting

Our mission is to avoid strange new worlds. To seek out new sources of income. To boldly stay great.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - White House Valentine's Day Emergency Meeting
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/14/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/14/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - White House Valentine's Day Emergency Meeting

"I’ve been so busy lately. I got up to page five on that memo from the democrats. I vetoed it because it was so boring. Someone needs to tell the democrats to use more graphs. I like wheels."

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