Santa's Gift
Ricky stood in the snow with one sneaker untied and his backpack hanging far too low on his back. His breath misted in the frigid December air. He shook, but not from the cold. His mother taught him to layer up, making it almost impossible to catch a chill.
No, his shivers were from fear. A fear he had every year. But this year was going to be different.
Hope Idiotic | Part 32
Wine was served. Chuck had a glass. Then he had another. Then another. By the end of the evening, all the young alumni were pleasantly soused.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Writing The Star Wars Is Easy!
J.J. – Okay, everyone, The Last Jedi is about to open. Time to break the story for the next and last film in the trilogy.
Derek – Shouldn’t we see the film first and see what Rian Johnson did?
J.J. – Sitting at this table are the hottest white male middle-aged Hollywood writers who brought the world Justice League, Batman v Superman, the Jurassic Park reboots… We can do whatever we want. If it contradicts anything Rian did, we can fix it by saying Kylo was lying because of the Dark Side. Or time travel. I like time travel a lot. Great way to fix things.
'90s Forever
I had to spend a summer up at the University of Buffalo in the late ’90s. There was an awful course in statistics that stood between me and a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Incredibly, an actual law school (not an online one with certificate) had accepted me for fall admission, but I couldn’t go without passing this class. Fortunately, I had a few college buddies up there, too, for their own reasons. My friend, Sean, was there with his girlfriend, Zara, and along with my girlfriend at the time, Janine, we all hung out quite a bit.
I Rarely Remember My Dreams and Today I’m Glad I Don’t
This morning I was visited by two waking dreams of unsettling feelings of which the import escapes me.
I Believe… [“Tell Your Truth” To Avoid “Telling THE Truth”]
…that “telling your truth” is merely giving your opinion with the safeguard of eliminating any challenge to it.
Hope Idiotic | Part 31
To celebrate his birthday, he, Lexi and Darryl went to Bella’s. There was a moment between his second and third beer when Chuck felt entirely at peace. He and Lexi were going to make a go of it—for better or worse, his brother was rescued from the black hole of the Keller broken home, and it seemed that the tempestuous days were behind him. In that moment, at that dinner table, all that was before him was his beautiful girlfriend, his sweet and simple brother and the vast desert landscape spreading off into the distance.
Punishing the 98% to Control the 2% Always Ends Badly
Humans crave freedom and yet also demand security. These two impulses co-exist contention-free most of the time but friction builds up over time and we almost always reduce our freedom for security.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | It Was Good While It Lasted: Saying Farewell to the Chicago Trolley & Double Decker Co
Chicago Trolley & Double Decker Company was murdered from within and without; a slow death of slow poison and a thousand tiny cuts that ended with a young pirate running their sword through a dying old man.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 8, 2019
You know it’s going to be a good day when the first conversation you have with your partner is a disagreement over what time it is.
Long Bang
Five sweaters and a hat find me in the kitchen. Predictably, mother left cigarettes and no note, so I have one over orange juice.
And I make myself concerned suddenly with just where those same mothers have gone absent to, with the indoor weather something now intolerable.
Hope Idiotic | Part 30
With the sadness of Pop dying, the excitement of the play and Michelle preparing to buy a condo, Lou had plenty of reasons to drink. And so he did. A subdued aggravation grew in that small apartment with the incredible view that Lou and Michelle called home. He wanted to talk about the play; she didn’t. She wanted to talk about the new condo; he didn’t. These were the two biggest things in their lives at that time and both knew that discussing them could result in a disastrous fight. But what were they going to do; not talk at all? There was no choice, yet somehow, they managed to be civil during these wretched conversations.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Space Poop Jesus!
“Where you see one set of footprints is where I continued walking and you took a golf cart.”
Jesus Would Kick Santa’s Ass
This debate is about who represents the holiday we know as Christmas the best. For this purpose, I see both figures more like Marvel X-Men than real life creatures, so come with me on the comparison train!
Holiday Gift Guide: The Best Baby Yoda Stuff for Your Favorite Star Wars Fan
You: I’m trying to find the perfect gift for my Star Wars-obsessed friend/sibling/lover. I don’t know, I guess maybe they’d like a custom lightsaber or something?
Me, an intellectual: Baby Yoda.
I Believe… [The Difference Between ‘Normal’ and ‘Ordinary’]
I believe… that cisgender is not a synonym for normal but a synonym for ordinary. Thus, those outside of the ordinary are naturally extraordinary rather than abnormal. Reframe things and we all win.
Hope Idiotic | Part 29
A week later, Pop was in the hospital. Benjamin called Lou that morning and told him. Lou drove out that afternoon. Benjamin, Grams and Aunt Elise were sitting around Pop, who was lying in the bed. The room was full of forced casual conversation. Dr. Caplan, Pop’s doctor, came in. He was the son of a close childhood friend of Pop’s who was also a doctor, but had retired from practicing medicine a few years ago. The younger Caplan inherited many of his dad’s patients, including Abraham Bergman, who used to give him rides to school.
“Here’s the deal, Abe,” Dr. Caplan said as he tossed Pop’s chart on the foot of the bed. “There’s cancer in your leg. A lot of cancer. It’s bad.”
I Don't Wanna Be Right
If loving you is wrong…
I’m dirty in a way no shower can ever wash off
Grace & The Art of Conversation
However pointless or banal it may seem at the time, small talk might end up giving one person a moment in which they feel like they belong and have worth. That one person might really need that moment.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 1, 2019
If you didn’t like the latest Peloton ad, don’t buy a Peloton. That’s how advertising works. Ads are meant to liked so people will buy the thing they’re selling. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. But also, find something else to do with your time than rage out about how dumb it is.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.