Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of August 12, 2018
Most of my college friends have kids starting school this week. First graders, fifth graders, kindergartners… Seeing their First Day of School photos is just a reminder that most of my college friends were having sex way before I was.
All the World’s a Stage and Identity is Just Another Costume
The intersection of every type of human in the park is incredible. Name an identity — from the most common to the smallest segment of current society, white cisgender heterosexual male to transgender bisexual black woman — and they will be somewhere in this giant wok on the east side of Chicago on any given night.
On Aggressive Countering: NPR, Kessler, and Challenging the Garbage
Often I’m reminded of this quote from Yeats’ “The Second Coming”: “The best lack all conviction, while the worst/ Are full of passionate intensity.”
The smart people will ponder and contemplate and collect information and second guess themselves and hold their tongues while the stupid people dominate the public conversation.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The “N” Word
Trump: I just want to go on record and say that I have never said the word n#gg#r.
Signs That You Are a Member of the Extreme Left or the Alt-Right
Does the shoe fit?
Noble X — Episode 8: More Trials
Conflicted, she shows a brief flash of guilt, then hardens again as she turns to leave. John pauses, stunned, just long enough to apologize to the classroom door clicking shut.
I Believe... [And The Statuette Goes To Justin Bieber]
...that it was just a matter of time before the Academy Awards morphed into the MTV Movie Awards. “And the Oscar for Best Onscreen Kiss goes to...”
On Wanting More
Call me greedy. Call me a hedonist. You’re not wrong. I am who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it. I’ll never be an ascetic. I’m hella attached to worldly pleasures, and to the world. I suppose I’m probably lucky that I’m not inclined to addiction — but there are too many things I want more of to focus all of my energies on just one substance or one sensation.
The Life of a Bird on the Sidewalk
Others came out and determined that it was breathing but was obviously in its death moment. I stepped closer to see if it would move and it hopped, slightly, to the side causing everyone to spasm.
Take Your Shit Seriously, Not Yourself
Show me a storyteller who only strives to teach the audience a lesson, to show the audience her pain and victim status, who takes his shit so seriously that every story told has a moral or a sense of condescension, and you have a Shaman. Show me a storyteller who only wants the attention for the laugh, who only tells stories of her "most embarrassing moments" with the sole purpose of being liked, and you have a Village Idiot.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of August 5, 2018
I bet the best part of a customer service representative’s job is picking their American name. “Hey, Aarushi, who you going to be today?”
“Today, I’m Stephanie. Tomorrow… I’m thinking I’ll be a Jill! No, Jillian! Definitely Jillian.”
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Q-Anon – The Great Aweakening
Q says Tom Hanks is a pedo. Tom Hanks! That explains the sex scene in Big. And the sex scene that got cut in Turner and Hooch.
First Season At The Unicorn Ranch
The pails of lemongrass milk we yoke out to slake them will be the same to pick up their poo: pink for girls, blue for boys. Noisome as a teenage pageant winner’s bedroom, it reeks of very horny flowers with a pollen fetish. If left uncollected the deep pheromones attract an unsavory population... I'm not talking about the diamond lice that we inspected their horns for each day...
Freedom and Truth
I'd rather be truthful than cheerful.
I'd rather have a monkey on my back than be one
I Believe… [Embracing Your Emotional Superpower]
...that, when being forced to work with a former assistant who demonstrated mendacity, casual ruthlessness and generally low character in the past, being someone capable of compartmentalizing emotions and reactions is like a fucking superpower.
On Writers and Saints
I’m not a perfect person. I make no claims of sainthood. Here, if you like, is a litany of some of my faults: I’m an arrogant, know-it-all bitch. I’m stubborn, often to a fault. I hold people to extremely high standards. I’m inclined to fits of pettiness, and I tend to hold grudges basically forever. Despite having spent years preaching to my students constantly about how there’s no shame in needing help, I’m lousy at asking for it for myself. I don’t have much interest in privacy. I will brook almost no opposition to my right to do as I fucking well please.
Noble X - Episode 7: Testing
John is making quite the commotion. Ms. West looks on, distracted by all the activity on John’s side of the room. Scooting tables and chairs around. Sharpening pencils. She interjects, “Mr. Noble, can we talk about testing?” and John stops abruptly. “Sure,” he replies while resisting the urge to job over to her desk. He can see slight alarm on her face.
Judged a Total Loss by a Complete Sham
I’m still with Progressive but I’m down to the most basic, General Liability policy they have because, apparently, Full Coverage doesn’t mean a fucking thing.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 29, 2018
I was in traffic the other day on the Kennedy. Saw a billboard that said, “Abortion takes away human life.” OK, but making the case to add more human lives to the planet when people are stuck in traffic isn’t the most effective way to communicate that message. This is basic marketing. This was poor media placement. You want a billboard to be effective to the people stuck in traffic? Slap up a billboard promoting the benefits of genocide.
Real Life Ghost Stories: The Witch's Chair
Nervous footfalls, quickened from anxiety, make soft tapping sounds on the pavement only to be swallowed up in the night. The neighborhood is quiet, dark, sleeping. The trees loom overhead like skeleton arms reaching out to stop you. Turn back, they call out in silent voices. Go home.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.