Judged a Total Loss by a Complete Sham
I’m still with Progressive but I’m down to the most basic, General Liability policy they have because, apparently, Full Coverage doesn’t mean a fucking thing.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 29, 2018
I was in traffic the other day on the Kennedy. Saw a billboard that said, “Abortion takes away human life.” OK, but making the case to add more human lives to the planet when people are stuck in traffic isn’t the most effective way to communicate that message. This is basic marketing. This was poor media placement. You want a billboard to be effective to the people stuck in traffic? Slap up a billboard promoting the benefits of genocide.
Real Life Ghost Stories: The Witch's Chair
Nervous footfalls, quickened from anxiety, make soft tapping sounds on the pavement only to be swallowed up in the night. The neighborhood is quiet, dark, sleeping. The trees loom overhead like skeleton arms reaching out to stop you. Turn back, they call out in silent voices. Go home.
Conversations with Whores
Old men with cheap cigars talking to half naked women, who can’t waste too much time with one guy because it’s all about turnover. Beyoncé was playing on the jukebox and it sounded out of place. Hip-Hop didn’t belong there. It was too cool for what was really going on.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Religious Liberty Task Force
There are no atheist’s in a fox’s hole.
White Privilege: Finding Pragmatics Apart from Spiritual Dogma
The automatic response to a white guy rejecting this approach is that it makes me uncomfortable and that I’m fragile. I’m anything but uncomfortable with having conversations. I believe that dialogue rather simply being told to shut up and listen is the key to growth. That said, having a dialogue about sin with a religious zealot is a cul de sac from which there is no escape.
I Know You're Depressed, But What Am I?
This depression is not the cryptic voice of a mountain shaman, filled with deep truths waiting to be deciphered. It is apart from me. It’s goal is only pain, not enlightenment. It is the voice of a playground bully, intentionally finding old wounds to pick at, cruelly leveraging insecurities and cherry-picking past events to spin as negative. Nothing more.
I Believe… [Things I Can Do Without]
…that, aside from venereal disease and being centipeded to someone who only eats Taco Bell, I can't think of almost anything I'd want less than a foldable smartphone.
Voting Feels Like Date Rape
“You should have known he was a liar and a manipulator.
How stupid are you?
Can’t you tell a liar and a manipulator and a charmer
when you see one?”
Working on #5-7: Compassion is a Gift not a Transaction
You receive compassion by demonstrating it. That’s it. That’s the only way.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 22, 2018
• The body wash I use in my showers has “Enviro-Friendly Microbeads.” What? I don’t care about the environment right now. I care if this soap is going to clean off the dookie that’s made its way halfway up my tailbone.
Required Watching: "Nuts!" (2016)
I know what you're thinking, and are absolutely correct: this is about goat balls. Specifically, about Dr. John R. Brinkley, who in the 1910s developed a cure for impotence by suturing goat testicles into scrotums. He claimed to have done this thousands of times, which is at least partially supported by the fact that he made millions off of it.
Body Shaming Confession
I have been guilty of body shaming, too.
The End of Friendship
A few months ago, I drove by their old place and noticed with a pang of shock that their house had been torn down. It is now just an empty lot, full of space and memories.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Emergency Cat Meeting
Bongo: When I bite him, he thinks I’m being playful. Maybe I need to chew through the bone next time.
Noble X - Episode 6: Filters Off
John continues to grow in size as he advances on his future self and proceeds to refuse this destiny with skill and agility, deftly attacking with the precision of a ninja. Ready to beg for mercy on his knees, John towers above his future self.
Only Lydia Knows
Why? I’ll tell you. Because my wife ain’t a wife anymore, my fiancé dumped me, and my kids have their own lives.
I Believe... [WOLVERINES!]
...that Patrick Swayze wouldn't put up with this Russia bullshit.
Be Careful of Who You Pretend to Be
For the most part, all the world is, in fact, a stage.
Saying “I Love You to the Moon and Back” is an Empty Sentiment
“I love you to the moon and back.” Doesn’t sound very sincere. Sounds like hyperbole — the kind of thing you’d say to someone you don’t really like but really want to go down on you.
The stomach tightens and sinks.
The heart and lungs follow.
It’s a confounding reaction to a receipt of affection.
It’s familiar, and, therefore, oddly comforting.
But familiarity can be a curse.
A cursed reminder of what once went wrong when you were just trying to do things right this time.
This time it’ll be different, you say.
Why? You’re different, but what are you doing differently?