Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of October 8, 2017
• The dirtiest roommates I’ve had have all been women. #TheFutureisFilthy #NastyWoman
• I’m a Cubs fan but I don’t really want the Cubs to win the World Series again. The last time they won Donald Trump was elected president. If you think those two incredibly inconceivable things aren’t related, you’re not paying attention.
Kaepernick Has Nothing To Complain About
I've heard people I love and respect say things like, "Colin Kaepernick has nothing to complain about. He's a freakin' millionaire!" at which point I'm thinking, "Wait a minute, he's not protesting for himself. It's for racial injustice. What you're saying makes you sound racist. I don't want to think of you as a racist. I don't want to think of you like I think of our president and vice president."
The Thrill of Cannons and My American Male Lizard Brain
I’m a child of the ‘80s. I grew up during the Cold War in the warm embrace of America’s beautifully violent and heroic narrative. Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, He-Man… I used to think that Batman was a pussy because he wore kevlar. Rambo essentially rewrote history by winning the Vietnam War shirtless. And he blew up a helicopter gun ship with a bow and arrow. But I always knew this was bullshit. Hollywood. I may have fantasized about saving my school or my family or an office building from terrorists with weapons but I always knew that actually doing so was pure imagination.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - "Future Robot Overlords of America"
"We all agreed the family was way too into arugula and the world would be a better place if they were scrubbed from existence."
Breaking Down the 2nd Amendment
The Constitution does not provide for the personal right to a firearm. It was never debated or even brought up. In 1780, the idea of a person living, on what was mostly wild frontier, without a firearm would seem like a joke. It was such an accepted part of life that it was completely unnecessary to discuss. This does not mean that firearms are evil or useless or should be confiscated. It means the argument that even the most modest form of regulation is a constitutional rights violation is invalid.
Angry is My Happy
I like being angry.
I like being pissed off.
The oppressor is not going
to trick me into being complaisant.
How To Talk Small
It's my job to make small talk. I smile. I nod. I squint an understanding squint. Sometimes I mean it. Sometimes I don't. That's my job.
My name's Jack. It's nice to meet you.
Welcome to the fourth biggest, family oriented, entertainment destination in the north central upper third in the lower forty-eight without a mascot.
I Believe... [AIM Wasn't Dead and Buried?]
...that it is almost embarrassing when it is announced that someone or something died and you thought they or it was dead long ago. That said, if you were still using AOL Instant Messenger, you're the one idiot using an abacus in the middle of an Apple store.
Really Tainted Love
You cross paths with some really messed people in your life, especially when you're a kid and don't know shit. It's best to remember the good times, learn from the lessons, and release the pain people cause you. You can't carry that garbage around.
Gun Control and Abortion — Two Sides of the Same Coin
In an effort to gain understanding on some level for the inexplicable, in lieu of simply writing off the Gun Nuts and 2nd Amendment Monsters and their lust for all things that shoot and kill, it occurred to me that the way I feel must be at least in the same wheelhouse as someone adamantly anti-abortion must feel every time a regulation on abortion rights is struck down.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of October 1, 2017
• Too many people think Red Dawn and Die Hard are documentaries.
Trump is a Mirror We Hate Looking In To
To misquote the oft-quoted meme, Donald Trump is not the president we need but he is the president we deserve.
I, Thief — Notes from the Purloining Life
I was an artistic kid who wanted to experiment with looks, so when mom was done taking me to the thrift store for back to school shopping (where she must have thought I got everything, because she never asked me about any of my clothes), I hoofed it to the mall.
Ah. The Mall. Many a warm late summer day spent in its confines, layering one pair of pants under another. Putting a nice shirt on underneath a not-so-nice one. Trading a pair of old shoes for new. Pulling off tags and staying away from anything with a magnetic button attached to it.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – “Stormfront White Nationalist Community Summit”
"Attendance is a little lighter than normal this year because of Yom Kippur. Some days are just better than others for vandalizing synagogues."
Recent Memory: Case File #0002: "The Millennium Bug"
What was the news?
The Millennium Bug.
How was this news?
Two thousand years were about to end in the 1990s. We'd all celebrated New Year's before, and seen more than one or two decades go by (stop reading if you haven't, this is PG-13). Even a select few of us are lucky enough to live over 100 years, or cursed by a painting. But, this was "Dick Clark's Rock Hard New Year's Event of 19Goddamn99, Jabronies!." The odometer rolling over into a whole new number. And, damn were some people into it. Jennifer Lopez waited for tonight, Will Smith sampled the name. And Prince, true to form, was ahead of his time. Despite being the construct of a guy who would soon hate March 15, then a Pope who had to fix it, people gave a nearly supernatural significance to the upcoming year of 2000.
Bad Day
I wrote this under distress.
The day began to my wife waking me up in my hotel room before sunrise. I thought someone had died. They had.
I Believe... [I Heard a Rumor...]
...that if your allegiance is to a symbol rather than people, to a song rather than citizens, you *might* be a racist or you *might* not be a racist but you are definitely a jackass.
What The Duck!
I mean, I understand a joke. I heard one weeks ago and I legitimately LOLed. But this type of misrepresentation of an entire species of aquatic bird is irresponsible, despicable and immoral. Most ducks I have met are simply trying to get on with it. Just living life. A hard working dad, finding fish to regurgitate into mom’s bill. An ever vigilant mother who leads 12 kids across the street, without government assistance or welfare of any kind.
Manufacturing Wounded Status to Beat the System
Do white males in America really feel marginalized by the strident Left? I don’t think so. I think these MRAs and Alt-Right dipshits see those who are banking on victimhood, elevating their marginalized survival as somehow heroic and cashing in on it as just another opportunity to seize some much needed financing.
A (Non-denominational) Recovering Jew Among Them
At church I felt OK. In sat next to Tommy who explained Catholic things to me. Ironically, I felt more comfortable in that Catholic church than I did in any Jewish temple I’d been in in the last 10 years. Maybe it’s because I feel betrayed by the Jewish people. Maybe it’s because I think Zionism is as evil as anti-Semitism. Maybe it’s because the rabbi at the temple where I grew up seems to have next to no concern for his dwindling congregation and the economic slide of his community so long as he keeps collecting his handsome salary—with benefits. I dunno, but I felt OK.
“Journey will survive the apocalypse. Cockroaches, radiation, and some asshole singing “Don't Stop Believin'” over the ruins of Cincinnati.”
“Why Cincinnati?”
“Seems like the kind of place where the apocalypse would start.”