Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of August 6, 2017
• I think that the best thing for all of us—this global community—is a nuclear war. It’ll remind us—those of us who are left—how devastating the nuclear option is. It’s been too long since anyone witnessed the destruction the Bomb wields and as a result, we’ve become desensitized to it, which is exactly why the two chubby children think it’s fun to throw threats of a fiery endgame around. So yeah, bring down the fury of hot hell. Maybe it’ll knock some sense into us. Bonus: I won’t have to worry about paying my quarterly taxes next time around.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 30, 2017
• Answering personality tests like the Meyers Briggs or something for my job is really hard for me. Which personality am I answering for? Mine, or the one I want you to think I have?
Notes from the Post-it Wall – Week of July 16, 2017
• I have a sex playlist on Spotify called “David’s Sex Playlist.” It’s all break up songs.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 9, 2017
• If you’re mad that Patton Oswalt is engaged a little more than a year after his first wife died, you’re a jerk. Simple as that. Who are you to understand one person’s heart and how it heals and what it needs and how it loves? You need to reduce your desire for outrage and leave people alone.
Notes from the Post-it Wall – Week of July 2, 2017
• Liberal rage confuses me. From day-to-day and outrage-to-outrage, I’m less and less sure about who is pissed at what and why. I’m thinking about joining the Klan. At least I know where they stand.
Notes from the Post–it Wall – Week of June 18, 2017
• If my approach to being a dog parent is any indication of how I’ll be as a parent to a human, I’m going to wake the kid up to snuggle with it and throw things at its face.
Notes from the Post-it Wall – Week of June 11, 2017
• Is the old waitress at the café who is calling me sweetheart flirting with me? Because it’s working.
Notes from the Post-it Wall – Week of June 4, 2017
• All this talk about Wonder Woman being the first major motion picture featuring a female superhero… Uh, hello, sheeple! Is Barb Wire not major enough for you?
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of May 28, 2017
• When I see an American flag as a decal on a pick-up truck window or a bald eagle presented as frightful and violent instead of regal on a decal, hat, t-shirt, etc., I get a little nervous...
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of May 21, 2017
• Some of my Facebook friends are trolls. Some of my Facebook friends troll the trolls. It can be fun to watch the fight play out but it also reminds me that some of my friends are real pricks.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Road Trip Edition
• The President George Bush Turnpike being a toll road is hilarious irony, and sort of a fuck you to the people of Texas.
Notes from the Post-It Wall — Week of April 30, 2017
... I picked apart a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup. The chocolate on its own, kinda sucks. The peanut butter on its own kinda sucks. Eating the chocolate and peanut butter separately is like Paul McCartney and John Lennon. They’re completely awful unless they’re together. ...
Notes from the Post-It Wall — Week of April 23, 2017
I screwed up reinstalling a towel rack. My future as a successful family man is not a promising one.
The Theory of Pie is established in my day-to-day. How much of my time is left after, say, a long work week of eight shows in six days? Who gets that time? How much do I gatekeeper for myself?