I Believe… [Nudist Freedom]
...that being naked in your home is liberating and suddenly makes you feel better about your body.
I Believe… [The Reward for Bad Behavior]
...that if you reward people screaming at you by giving in to their demands, you train them and others to scream at you with impunity.
I Believe… [Spring of Deception]
...that the fake Spring (always around the end of February or beginning of March) in Chicago is something special. All of sudden people are out in shirt sleeves and walking the lakefront. A week later, it’ll be like a dream we all had but a really good one.
I Believe… [The Stink of Neighborhoods]
...that one can make a lot of assumptions about the neighborhoods in Chicago but there is no escaping the fact that the Red Line smells like piss and weed and the Brown Line does not.
I Believe… [Special Purpose]
...that there must be a purpose of living beyond simply surviving despite the fact that survival is a heavy lift for most people. To find your purpose, look to the things that bring you the most joy and pursue.
I Believe… [Calm DOWN!]
...that telling people to calm down is less effective to actually getting them calm than the act of being calm in the first place. Lead by example.
I Believe… [Old Guy Vanity]
...that, while the fascination with looking younger than people think you should look is a narcissistic vanity, it’s still pretty cool.
I Believe… [No Going Back]
...that you can’t go back to who you were but you can go back to where you belong.
I Believe… [Acknowledge This]
...that land acknowledgments are a collective pat on the back for people who want to seem aware without breaking a sweat. Trust me—money or land would mean more.
I Believe… [Heroin Chic]
...that, with Ozempic making the stars of Wicked look like they are on heroin, it’s safe to say that body positivity is as over as DEI.
I Believe… [AI Roast]
...that having ChatGpt roast you is a wonderful window into how potentially full of shit you are. It is a dispassionate revealer of how you appear to the online world and stings while pulling the veil aside.
I Believe… [Googly Eyes]
...that ownership and use of Googly Eyes as a man approaching 60 is a sign of an absolute refusal to grow old. Older, sure. Not old.
I Believe… [The Reese’s Takeover]
...that, if taken through the lens of truck stops and gas stations throughout the Midwest, Reese’s has taken over the world.
I Believe… [Follow the Money]
...that the most body positive corporations on the planet are McDonald’s, Frito-Lay, and Kraft.
I Believe… [Love Actually?]
...that my favorite part of Love Actually (which, mind you, is like declaring my favorite part of a Sizzler sald bar) is the story about the aging rockstar who realizes he’d rather spend Christmas with his loyal friend than party with Elton John.
I Believe… [The Paradox of Wisdom]
...that good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgement.
I Believe… [Intensity vs Depth]
...that intense and deep aren’t the same thing even if you’ve convinced yourself they are. Intense is momentary and fleeting; deep is the result of time and energy.
I Believe… [Banquet Platters]
...that few things are more appealing than leftover banquet platters.
I Believe… [Wrecking Ball]
...that, when coming in and making sweeping changes in an organization, it’s best to Miley Cyrus that shit and wrecking ball the place.
I Believe… [Too Much Absence]
...that some absence makes the heart grow fonder; too much absence makes the heart forget.
...that, as we age, good footwear is more important than a girlfriend.