Don Hall 1/17/22 Don Hall 1/17/22

I Believe... [A Mouthful of Shit]

...that an opinion without some factual backup is like a cake without sugar. It's heavy, flat and tastes like a mouthful of shit.

Don Hall 1/16/22 Don Hall 1/16/22

The Definition of Success and Failure Determines the Roads You Take

What would you do if you knew you would not fail?

Don Hall 1/15/22 Don Hall 1/15/22

Beware Strangers Bearing a Gift Freelance Gig

With the pandemic, lockdowns, stimulus checks, and the dramatic rise in remote gigs, the grift is in full force.

Don Hall 1/13/22 Don Hall 1/13/22

The Music of Obscenity

Favorites include "douchebag," "asshat," "shit stain," and, of course, any variation on the word "fuck." The Irish can use these words like Yo Yo Ma can play an arpeggio and I consider myself a near virtuoso.

Don Hall 1/10/22 Don Hall 1/10/22

I Believe... [Bag of Weasels]

I believe... that every relationship comes with its bag of weasels.

Don Hall 1/8/22 Don Hall 1/8/22

The Opinion of the Intelligent

If your personal truth is only informed by your experiences in the world, without some attempt to triangulate and educate yourself, it is by the very definition, "the certainty of the ignorant."

Don Hall 1/3/22 Don Hall 1/3/22

I Believe... [Bristling Elites]

...that when Pulitzer prize winners and people with advanced degrees bristle at being called “elites” the Emperor’s codpiece just slipped off his huge, highly educated, monied cock.

Don Hall 1/2/22 Don Hall 1/2/22

Sauna Talk is a Lot Like Locker Room Talk

"Well, that's racist."

Nine sphincters tightened. Nine old, wrinkly, half-naked white men almost held nine sets of breath.

I looked him in the eye. "What about that is racist?"

Don Hall 12/30/21 Don Hall 12/30/21

The One 2022 Resolution For Us All

After two years of COVID, social justice demands, insurrectionists, the fact the Trump won't simply die from a goddamned McDonald's fueled heart attack, economic instability, cyber-attacks, droughts, floods, bizarre heat waves followed by epic snowstorms followed by massive wildfires and urban blacks beating up old Asian ladies on video, trying to find some sort of positive, self help path forward seems impossible.

Don Hall 12/27/21 Don Hall 12/27/21

I Believe… [Simple Resolve]

...that if anyone still does New Year’s resolutions, they should include the goals to mind their own business, place their anxiety into perspective, and maybe take a few walks a week. Keep it simple for 2022.

Don Hall 12/26/21 Don Hall 12/26/21

The Best of The Ape 2021 | Most Read, Best Stuff

2021 was an odd year for everyone, globally speaking.

Don Hall 12/25/21 Don Hall 12/25/21

Unforging Marley's Chain: Cracking the Life Code via Dickens

I don't see myself in Scrooge much—not wealthy or particularly skin-flinty with dough—and I'm not Republican in any way yet I'm finding a bit more appreciation for Bill Clinton-style centrism. For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause.

Don Hall 12/22/21 Don Hall 12/22/21

The Word of 2021 was "Impatience"

We can’t escape the world but we can re-learn Patience and Self-Discipline.

Don Hall 12/20/21 Don Hall 12/20/21

I Believe... [Get Her the Combs Already]

...that you should read O. Henry’s The Gift of the Magi before Christmas Eve.

Don Hall 12/18/21 Don Hall 12/18/21

The Thought That Counts (Repost from 2016)

There are a couple of simple rules that I try to follow when participating in the ritual of gift-giving and receiving.

Don Hall 12/15/21 Don Hall 12/15/21

Starting Over After It All Goes Up in a COVID Smoke

“Everything I had built in the past 15 years just went up in smoke. It’s gone. I mean, what the fuck do I do now?”

Don Hall 12/14/21 Don Hall 12/14/21

I Like to Watch | Succession (HBO)

I hated it. I loved it. But I really hated it. I loved the score (especially the opening which I ended up watching every single episode because the music is so ridiculously Punch Drunk Love perfect). I hated every character, every scene, every moment.

Don Hall 12/13/21 Don Hall 12/13/21

I Believe... [Variant Snap]

...that the next strain of COVID will be known as the Thanos Variant.

Don Hall 12/11/21 Don Hall 12/11/21

How Many Confederate Statues Are There Left to Topple?

At last count there are roughly 1900 monuments and statues throughout the southern United States commemorating the Confederacy. In 2020, 200 had been taken down, demolished, or hidden from view.

I'm no mathematician but that seems to leave us with 1700 left.

Don Hall 12/9/21 Don Hall 12/9/21

On Smollett, BLM, and the Chicago Police Department

On the other hand, his statement regarding the corruption at the very heart of the Chicago Police Department is as blatantly true and obvious as Smollett's guilt.