![I Believe… [Hurricanes Give CNN Staffers Boners]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1536963404307-FV7F9XH7S8G61Q2DJTEE/ibelieve....jpg)
I Believe… [Hurricanes Give CNN Staffers Boners]
…that as horrifying as the latest hurricane is/was, all I can see in my mind’s eye is CNN programmers furiously masturbating (with consent from the female staffers, of course) as the ratings go higher and higher because nothing sells ads more than American disasters.
Listening to Kenny Loggins’ brand of Rock ‘n’ Roll is like watching a high school kid play an elderly person in the Spring Play. We all know I’s not real, but we go along with it because it’s cute.