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LITERATE APE
Magazine
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The Ultimate Decision
August 6, 2026
David Himmel
The Ultimate Decision
August 6, 2026
David Himmel

He was tired of carrying her weight. Her financial choices and responsibilities. Her alcoholism. And he knew she was tired of his drug abuse and laziness and porn addiction. And Train played. And the guy kept talking. “Thing is, man… if it weren’t for divorce, I’d have student loans.”

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August 6, 2026
David Himmel

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Correcting the Orwellian Doublespeak for Zoomers
Don Hall Don Hall 9/1/20 Don Hall Don Hall 9/1/20

Correcting the Orwellian Doublespeak for Zoomers

If Orwell had seen this new reality, 1984 would’ve been unreadable because while Big Brother proposed that ‘War is Peace’ Angry Brother would be saying “No. War isn’t Peace. Peace is Power.”

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I Believe… [If You’re Gonna Loot… Er… Secure Reparations…]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 8/17/20 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 8/17/20

I Believe… [If You’re Gonna Loot… Er… Secure Reparations…]

I believe… that, had I been in Chicago during the Reparation Looting, I’d have looted the shit out of Garrett’s Popcorn and Whole Foods. I mean, a Nike High-Top ain’t feeding my kids, right?

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The Quandary of the Left — Is Looting Without Protest Justifiable?
Don Hall Don Hall 8/15/20 Don Hall Don Hall 8/15/20

The Quandary of the Left — Is Looting Without Protest Justifiable?

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s gonna want a glass of milk.

There’s gotta be a better way.

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Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 9, 2020
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 8/14/20 David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 8/14/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 9, 2020

Comparing tragedies and grievances often expose your passive racism. Be careful. More importantly, please be aware.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Battle of Portland Letters
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/22/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/22/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Battle of Portland Letters

It is with good cheer that I tell you all the statues still stand, and all the Target stores remain unsullied.

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