![I Believe... [And The Statuette Goes To Justin Bieber]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1533818266063-WHJQA02PDXOA76YJGH1Z/ibelieve....jpg)
I Believe... [And The Statuette Goes To Justin Bieber]
...that it was just a matter of time before the Academy Awards morphed into the MTV Movie Awards. “And the Oscar for Best Onscreen Kiss goes to...”
Hagatha the Dog Witch
Hagatha, upon arriving in Chicago, had developed an allergy to cats. She tried Zyrtec, Claritin and Allegra, and all the potions and spells in her Witch Craft: Curses & Remedies book. Nothing helped. Her eyes watered, which made her face melt a little. Her nose ran constantly, and witch snot is essentially acid so she kept burning through her handkerchiefs and shirt sleeves. The only solution was to put her beloved cat, Gomez, whom she had had since she conjured him to life two centuries ago, up for adoption.
If the Royal Family has enough sense in their inbred brains to support the arrest and subsequent punishment of the Andrew Formerly Known as Prince, then American leaders ought to have equal sense to investigate and punish the other Epstein-related offenders. Or, at the very least, admit that American Power is too insulated for true justice to ever have a chance at prevailing and own up to being a criminal enterprise. Something far worse than being inbred. (Though, probably not as bad as being married to Meghan Markle.)