Notes from the Post-it Wall – Week of June 25, 2017
• Lapel pins go in the lapel button hole, you blazer-abusing halfwit.
• I am not comfortable driving on any road called Dale Earnhardt Way.
• People, like my wife, tell me that I’m going to make a great dad. I don’t doubt that. I’m just not sure that’s the area where I want to use my greatness.
• Success is by design. And when it comes to design, some people have terrible taste.
• I have equal disdain for racist, murderous child molesters and anyone who pronounces our 36th state as Ne-vaw-da. It’s pronounced Ne-vah-da. Get it right or don’t say it at all.
• When you have a Roomba, you can have sex with your wife and vacuum at the same time. And so I ask you, what more does any red-blooded American man need?