I Believe… [The Ironic Right]

...that the problem with rose colored glasses is that the red flags all appear to be gray. Taking them off is generally less fun or romantic but having the hot tattooed chick stomp on your fucking heart with those platform heels is far less fun.

...that people in our lives often lie to us. We aren’t angry because they lied. We’re angry because we believed them in the first. Why we wanted to believe them is the cracked mirror to explore.

...that the irony that the Right is reveling in their reclaimed permission to say the word ‘retard’ and yet most of them are ‘tards is staggering.

...that gaining one’s confidence back is a process of increments—a job well done, a parking lot make out session at the end of a first date, the drop of a single pound—and takes far more time than losing it which can be destroyed by the simple phrase “I hope you don’t lose any dick weight.”

...that unless someone is publically and vocally in favor of the Final Solution of killing all the Jews, they are NOT a Nazi. An asshole, a white nationalist, a xenophobe, sure. A Nazi has a very specific meaning rather than “person who I despise because they don’t agree with my political ideology.”