I Believe… [Fairy Tale Finance Bros]

...that anyone, in this age of deep fakes and hyperbolic partisanship, who is 100% certain of anything is categorically wrong. Skepticism and doubt are the tools of the intellectually mature.

...that if your self-worth is measured in followers, you’re not a person—you’re a product, shrink-wrapped in dopamine metrics and sold wholesale to the next app update. Real value? That’s what you say when no one’s listening, not what you post when everyone’s watching.

...that the perfect fairy tale that exemplifies the cryptocurrency movement is ‘Jack and Beanstalk.’ “Hey. Gimme that valuable animal you own and I’ll give you some magic beans.”

…in the holy trinity of decency: say thank you, own your shit, and never trust a man who wears boat shoes more than once a week inland. Forgiveness is divine, sure—but so is a well-timed “Go fuck yourself” when someone mistakes your kindness for surrender.

...that the women who hate men the most tend to look like Ernest Borgnine in a wig. Or have the personality of a middle manager at a corporation with an ambiguous purpose. On the other end, the women who claim to love men are simply grifters looking for a provider. Shoot your shot for the middle, boys.