Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of September 9, 2018
• My wife and I have already grown too comfortable with each other. I know this because I’m no longer repulsed by her farts.
• The people who bark how excited they are about the Christmas Season/Holiday Season in September are the worst kind of people. Slow your roll. Appreciate what’s in front of you. Be present. It’s OK to be excited and have things to look forward to but dial back your enthusiasm. No one likes an adult who gets giddy over something three months away like a toddler gets excited about getting to eat candy before dinner.
• It’s never a good idea to speak in absolutes. However, I am absolutely sure that there is no better way to nap than on the couch with a historical documentary droning out from the TV. Dreams of tanks, former presidents and Leopold and Loeb are the best.
• Watching the movie Cocktail in the age of #MeToo reveals it to be a complete piece of trash. But, goddammit, it’s still a great fucking movie.
• Women who jog early in the morning with full makeup on are the best kind of joggers. But I guarantee you that they’re a constant nightmare of maintenance to live with.
• You know what? Forget what I said about being excited for Christmas to get here. I’m ready for the Super Bowl to get here. That means football season is over.