Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 23, 2018
• Driving through farming communities on Christmas Day has a way of making all of the lyrics in Christmas songs resonate in a really heartwarming way.
• The big gifts from my wife this Christmas was a Simple Human trashcan for the kitchen, and the Verilux HappyLight Lucent. See, boys and girls, it’s easy to buy presents for a neat freak with a chronic case of the mulligrubs.
• I’m still in the infant stage of its use but so far, this HappyLight thing seems to be doing the trick. I do feel better. Plus, I think it’s making my penis bigger.
• As you reflect back on your year, try to turn your failures into confidence. For example, I had a few failures this last year but at least I didn’t fail like Bruce Rauner failed. I can’t even tell you how Rauner failed — that’s how much of a failure he is.
• McSweeney’s used to be funny. Unfortunately, this thinking person’s Funny or Die has gone the way of stating the obvious with smugness and snark for laughs. Take this recent piece about Hallmark Channel Christmas movies. It’s just as bad as the hacky Have-you-ever-noticed? stand-up that ransacked comedy stages throughout the 1980s and early ’90s. “Have you ever noticed how men don’t talk about their feelings the same way women do?” Oh, right… it’s funny because it’s true. Thing is, McSweeney’s, the truth needs to be presented in a unique and funny way for it to be funny. Is this little Post-it Note funny? No. Not at all. But it is true. You suck.
• You know what’d be a funny way to mock Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, McSweeney’s? Write a script that reads like any one of those saccharine and dumb movies but cast it with members from the Trump administration. Or use the Clintons. Or flip the script completely and make the main protagonist a man. Or swap Christmas out for Arbor Day or Administrative Professionals’ Day. Huh. Maybe I should write for McSweeney’s. Or write a Hallmark Channel movie.