The tree loved the woman but even more than the woman
The tree loved the idea of being in love.
What the tree didn't know
Because trees were long on roots but fucking short on brains
Was that woman only loved two things:
Herself and immediate gratification.

Captain Jason Blue had been floating in space for nearly ten hours. He was going to asphyxiate in his suit in a matter of minutes.

“I just don't want to lose what little bit of myself I still have pursuing something that will only leave me with nothing in the end."

When someone tells a lie like this for so long to so many people, the lie becomes a habit and habits become addiction.

Intense self indulgence is rarely very different from intense self destruction. It’s just a slower version of it. Unless you’re in Vegas and then the two are roughly equivalent.

Carl knew better than to fall for a Mermaid. Notoriously fickle and prone to deception, Mermaids had a viciousness only equalled by their beauty.

"OK. Calm down," responded Davis. "This is a classic John Hughes kind of dilemma. You're dating three different women. You like each one equally but for different reasons. Let's really make a Nick Hornsby list and see who you see yourself with in, say, seven years.

He lied there, the beast breathing slowly, and wondered what happened? Where was his wife? Did she do this to him? Why?

At first he couldn't find her. He knew she couldn't be far. He heard something like an animal and turned the corner. There she was, on all fours, loping through the parking lot like a dog or chimpanzee.

Yetis and Unicorns will never stay together long.

"Are you waking up, lover? I'm sorry about your tongue, Sweetie, but I had to take it. Can't have you talking to people about me, can I? I'm a little sad because even though you were always a blowhard, I'll miss our conversations about things. Hold on a sec. You won't feel this except for a little pressure but this thing is really loud."