Don Hall 1/13/20 Don Hall 1/13/20

I Believe… [Both Can Be Right]

…that Soleimani was a terrorist monster who deserved to be killed and Trumpenstein is a horrible man deserving of impeachment and removal from office. Both can be true so quit bending yourself into pretzels in existential crisis.

Don Hall 1/12/20 Don Hall 1/12/20

The Conundrum of Age: As Times Passes, Our Fellow Passengers Disembark

We tend to take it for granted that living a long life is an inherently good thing. A desirable outcome to living is to live as many years as we can get.

Don Hall 1/8/20 Don Hall 1/8/20

The Big Ideas of The Left are Being Shouted Down by Narcissism

The effort to pick the low hanging fruit is lazy and ignores the hard to get stuff at the top of the idea tree. Christ, how vapid will we allow our addiction to “likes” and online notoriety to form us?

Don Hall 1/6/20 Don Hall 1/6/20

I Believe… [The Ladder of Secular Religiosity]

I believe… that if you believe it is the System fueled by Evil Other People that is the cause for your lousy lot in life you have started on the first rung of the Ladder of Secular Religiosity. Until you realize the System is you and your myriad of interconnected choices, get ready for the zealotry ride of your life.

Don Hall 1/3/20 Don Hall 1/3/20

The Most Popular Pieces of 2019 | A Literate Ape Roundup

The Top Ten most read pieces of 2019!

Don Hall 12/31/19 Don Hall 12/31/19

The Virtue We Have Given Up On and Must Embrace in This Decade

Skinner Boxes are the avatars of immediate gratification and unearned treats.

Don Hall 12/30/19 Don Hall 12/30/19

I Believe… [Screaming at Spiders Doesn’t Get Them Out of the House]

I believe… that idealism and passion aren’t solutions. Without them, solutions cannot be created but alone they represent the kind of pointless emotional response that screaming at a spider does.

Don Hall 12/28/19 Don Hall 12/28/19

Videogames Fully Indoctrinate People to Be Cutthroat Capitalists

With the most recent surge of capitalism hate (and the ill-researched understanding of exactly what socialism is on both sides of the Partisan Divide), it seems that the culture needs to change significantly before the competing isms can provide a temporary dominance of the social over the capital. No more competitive video games. No more professional sports. No more television contests. No more grades in schools. The people on the covers of magazines must be chosen by lottery and anyone can enter.

Contributing Writer 12/27/19 Contributing Writer 12/27/19

The Cinema of 2019: A Literate Ape End-of-Year Review

We enjoyed a lot of movies in 2019. While not a banner year like 1968 or 1999, the year certainly had its standouts. Here is our end of the year list of the films that impacted us the most compiled by Don Hall and Brett Dworski, both film fans and people with acceptable vision and hearing.

NOTE: These are not ranked because generally, we believe the practice of ranking films is fucking stupid. However, we do rate them from 1 to 5 Apes. Enjoy.

Don Hall 12/25/19 Don Hall 12/25/19

A Merry Christmas Punch/CounterPunch On the Sensitive Topic of One Mr. George Bailey, Part One

But did that room full of people really know George Bailey? Did they fully grasp his horrible failure as a human being before throwing down the money he lost?

Who was George Bailey and why do we in the Age of Cancel Culture want to see him escape his tragic fall?

Don Hall 12/23/19 Don Hall 12/23/19

I Believe… [Christmas 2019]

I believe… that the older you get, the less you want (unless it’s pharmaceuticals and sleep and then you want it all). Do your AARP family member a solid and gift them generic drugs from Canada and room for a lot of naps this holiday season.

Don Hall 12/21/19 Don Hall 12/21/19

Americans Don’t Deserve Christmas in 2019

In 2019, we are more attuned to Punishment over Rehabilitation, Revenge instead of Redemption. We neither forgive nor forget.

Don Hall 12/17/19 Don Hall 12/17/19

I Rarely Remember My Dreams and Today I’m Glad I Don’t

This morning I was visited by two waking dreams of unsettling feelings of which the import escapes me.

Don Hall 12/16/19 Don Hall 12/16/19

I Believe… [“Tell Your Truth” To Avoid “Telling THE Truth”]

…that “telling your truth” is merely giving your opinion with the safeguard of eliminating any challenge to it.

Don Hall 12/15/19 Don Hall 12/15/19

Punishing the 98% to Control the 2% Always Ends Badly

Humans crave freedom and yet also demand security. These two impulses co-exist contention-free most of the time but friction builds up over time and we almost always reduce our freedom for security.

Don Hall 12/11/19 Don Hall 12/11/19

Jesus Would Kick Santa’s Ass

This debate is about who represents the holiday we know as Christmas the best. For this purpose, I see both figures more like Marvel X-Men than real life creatures, so come with me on the comparison train!

Don Hall 12/9/19 Don Hall 12/9/19

I Believe… [The Difference Between ‘Normal’ and ‘Ordinary’]

I believe… that cisgender is not a synonym for normal but a synonym for ordinary. Thus, those outside of the ordinary are naturally extraordinary rather than abnormal. Reframe things and we all win.

Don Hall 12/2/19 Don Hall 12/2/19

I Believe… [Chaos Is Less Fun Than Revolution]

…that those who seek revolution would be wise to have some sort of vision of what will take the place of the system destroyed. Without that vision, the house burns down and chaos reigns. Sounds good until you have to face chaos.

Don Hall 11/27/19 Don Hall 11/27/19

You Know You Love White People Shit

You love Guy Fieri. You love Shark Tank. You love Nora Ephron. You love 5Ks. You love The Crown.

Don Hall 11/26/19 Don Hall 11/26/19

They’re Getting Rid of Time Out Rooms and Now There is No Legal Consequence for Dealing with Disruptive or Violent Students

I’m a bona fide Leftie with all my liberal merit badges but even I am aghast for teachers today. Without even the possibility of removing students from a room full of kids to calm them down or punish them with a bit of isolation from the very attention they so desperately crave, educators are fucked.