Don Hall 1/28/18 Don Hall 1/28/18

The Lies We Tell To Just Get Out of Bed Every Morning

"If only [this thing] were true, my life would be so much better."

Man, are we all full of shit.

Setting up expectations and promisary notes of happiness or fulfillment or peace is natural but we, the Essential Human, fuck it up every single time.

Don Hall 1/24/18 Don Hall 1/24/18

“I Don’t Regret My Past but I Do Regret That There is Proof of It...”

“I don’t regret my past but I do regret that there is proof it.”

That statement says an awful lot about where we are in the ongoing evolution of modern society. I can hear Weinstein, Spacey and even Trump saying the same thing. I can imagine certain police officers saying it. Politicians saying it. Internet trolls saying it.

Christ, that statement could be the lasting meme that defines this particular era of social media, call out culture and unrelenting intolerance for disagreement on moralistic grounds.

Don Hall 1/22/18 Don Hall 1/22/18

I Believe… [Affirmative Consent Is the Way To Go]

…that Affirmative Consent Laws this are the exact and necessary step to take nationwide. Yeah, it’ll be a huge learning curve for all sexual beings but I think we can sacrifice a tad of the spontaneity and danger of hook ups for a better standard of how to do it safely.

Don Hall 1/21/18 Don Hall 1/21/18

How to Redefine Normal

In order for any deviation from what the majority of people in this country consider normal to change course and become a part of a paradigm shift, it must be seen and understand as such first. To be considered normal, one must change that which is the "standard; usual, typical or expected."

Don Hall 1/18/18 Don Hall 1/18/18

Above All, Try Something (Hamlet Dies at the End, Right?)

I believe that while the planet and the humanity that populates it is increasingly complicated, we are almost always faced with two choices:

Do the thing.
Don't do the thing.

An awful lot of the time we choose the latter because we fear the consequences of the former.

Don Hall 1/15/18 Don Hall 1/15/18

I Believe… [If Only Trump Ended Sentences With "Meathead!"]

…that Donald Trump is like having Archie Bunker as president. Imagine the late Carroll O'Connor asking "Why would we want all these people from shithole countries when the United States should admit more people from places like Norway, Meathead." If fact, from now on, no matter what the TrumpsterFire says, I'm going to hear it in Bunker's voice and my life will be funnier.

Don Hall 1/14/18 Don Hall 1/14/18

Gentrification Is Nothing More Than an Endless Land Grab

The following stories are true.

Don Hall 1/11/18 Don Hall 1/11/18

LIFEHACK: The Secret to Productivity is Dressing Up as a Superhero

Got a big interview for that dream gig? How about throwing on that Spider-Man outfit and nailing it? On a tight deadline to get those spreadsheets completed by the end of the day? Slip into the company washroom and emerge as Storm from the X-Men! That presentation to the company about your team P&L's? Do it dressed as the Fantastic Four and if people can forget how shitty all the movies have been, you will wow them!

Don Hall 1/8/18 Don Hall 1/8/18

I Believe… [Fashion Statement Activism]

…that the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow is selling (and people are buying) a $135 Coffee Enema Kit is far more alarming than anything going on in Congress these days. I "accidentally" shot coffee up my ass (there was a safe word) and it was not worth $135 unless it was from Starbucks.

Don Hall 1/7/18 Don Hall 1/7/18

The Fear of Human Failing and the Culture That Breeds It

Unfortunately, Reality tends to bitchslap Current Culture in the chops just about every time.

Don Hall 1/6/18 Don Hall 1/6/18

The Fight for Passion in a World Steeped in the Mediocre

Mediocrity is the acceptance of doing just enough to get away with it without rigorous interrogation of value. And by placing monetary value over experiential value, we reinforce the idea that success artistically is defined primarily by commerce and popularity.

Don Hall 1/1/18 Don Hall 1/1/18

I Believe… [With a New Year Comes the Same Bullshit]

…that no matter how much you want the New Year page turn to open up to a whole new world, Donald Trump is still the fucking president.

Don Hall 12/31/17 Don Hall 12/31/17

A Year in Literate Ape: 2017

While Literate Ape is not quite a year old and we only started adding contributors in September, we figure it's that 'year end roundup' time. Below are links to some of our more popular pieces in 2017.

Don Hall 12/29/17 Don Hall 12/29/17

You Never Know What’s Coming: A Curious Case

It's nearly 2018. The page has turned. What are you going to do with it?

Not long ago, in the fall, I realized I had watched most of David Fincher's films multiple times but had only seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button once. While I'm not necessarily a completest by nature (the music of The Beatles, Clifford Brown, and John Williams being exceptions) I decided it was high time to revisit the tale of a man living life in reverse.

Don Hall 12/27/17 Don Hall 12/27/17

A Few Hours I'd Like Back: Bullshit Time Wasters of 2017

What a fucking year, amiright?

Holy crap. It boggles the tiny ape brain to even take a Faceborg trip through the timeline and revisit it. Like, it physically hurts the joints to reflect on all of the general awfulness of what will become known as The Year We All Lost Our Fucking Minds. I just puked a little on my pants typing that.

It's ending, though, which merits at least a quick listicle of things I wish I hadn't forced myself to experience and, goddamnit, I wish I could go back in time and get those precious hours of my life back.

Don Hall 12/25/17 Don Hall 12/25/17

I Believe… [Christmas Day 2017]

…that Christmas makes me realize how fragile we all are and how brilliantly heroic it is to simply survive on a ball of rock hurtling through space. We thrive in spite of our natures and the yin-yang of the best and worst parts of us is what makes humanity remarkable.

Don Hall 12/24/17 Don Hall 12/24/17

Unforging Marley's Chain: Redemption is Possible

For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause. Link by link, and yard by yard. The chain we forge in life.

Don Hall 12/21/17 Don Hall 12/21/17

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year for Netflix

As we roll into the Christmas Season, we are confronted with the dichotomy of being the fat, lazy, imperialist nation of consuming hordes that we are with the presence of unprecedented generosity of spirit that the holiday tends to bring out in the best of us. We are slapped in the jaw with the fact that we love our families even if we ignore them for most of the year. We look around and figure out ways to show appreciation to those we love and mercy for those we don't.

And we watch movies about how other people deal with this state.

I love Christmas and I love movies about Christmas. Here's my list of the movies about this time of year that I truly love.

Don Hall 12/19/17 Don Hall 12/19/17

Star Wars: The Last Jedi — Ripped From the Gen X Nostalgia Train

This is a Star Wars rooted in the idea that we of Gen X failed to beat the Empire. That our delusion of ourselves is not reflected in our feelings of exceptionalism. Rey and Kylo Rea and Poe and Finn are the Millennials we failed and it is now their story, their fight, their destiny.

Don Hall 12/18/17 Don Hall 12/18/17

I Believe… [Y2K Redux]

…that the hysteria surrounding Y2K was worldwide, caused a low-grade mass anxiety, and ultimately makes us all (those around for it) look a bit silly in hindsight. When confronting all of the hysteria, low-grade anxiety of today, I'd suggest we remember Y2K.