Even the Machines are Scared of President Trump
I can’t be sure of this, but I have enough evidence to assume with strong certainty that our Roomba tried to kill himself after considering the tangible reality of a Trump presidency and the disarray in which our empire is crumbling.
The Missed Opportunity to Die Young
I’ve missed the opportunity to die young, and as a result, I’ll have to spend the rest of my life working really, really hard to be successful and to leave a mark.
Being Political—The Role of a Lifetime
Celebrities and politics go together like insurance companies and greed.
Insane New York Magazine Story Highlights Women Seizing Control Against President Trump with Haircuts
I’m not a woman. I’ve never been a woman and I have no desire to be a woman. I aim to understand women in the same way I aim to understand all living humans with whom I share this planet.
Grandma Got Run Over By Amazon
How the Blue Line can Save Christmas
The Perfect Feminist
I knew what I was getting into when I married Marie. She was a kindhearted woman—sweet as they came. A staunch NPR listener. The kind of NPR listener that actually gave money.
Don't Be a Pin Prick
The Loneliness of Being too Liberal and Privileged to Join the Revolution
If there were to be an actual revolution in this country, I'm concerned that neither side would have me as a soldier.
“Journey will survive the apocalypse. Cockroaches, radiation, and some asshole singing “Don't Stop Believin'” over the ruins of Cincinnati.”
“Why Cincinnati?”
“Seems like the kind of place where the apocalypse would start.”