All tagged poetry

The Fuck Styles Of Famous Poets

In honor of National Poetry Month, I would like to discuss a few things about poetry. As we all know, poetry is when words are written in a rhyming. When we write in rhyming, we are poets. Some people say that poems can be not rhyming, but these people are stupid. William Shakespeare invented the first poem and he also made the rules of poems. 

William Shakespeare's Rules Of Doing Poem

  1. All words must be in doing rhymes

  2. Poetry is fancy and should only be done by fancy boys

  3. Not rhyming is just words and not poetry

  4. Macbeth

Couplea Jerk Poets: In Conversation with Nic Souder

Chicago native Nic Souder is one of those people for me. A podcaster, a poet, poetry show host, visual artist and acquaintance (not at all in that order). One whom I admire because he manages to use his darker experiences and the everyday to lace everything he touches with a kind of mad hipster magic. 

He was gracious enough to let me steal him away after work for a few beers and a long chat, heavily abridged and presented here in celebration with National Poetry Month, about process and other creative curiosities…

In the Springtime of My Dystopia

There were signs. There were warnings.
We were too in love to pay much attention.
It was merely some background noise,
some clatter, inconvenient clutter.
What were those politicians droning on about?
Overly made-up talk show hosts harping on about
nonsense, trivialities, invented crises.
Grown men wearing the flag like a toga
or burning it in acts of performance art largesse.

Messed Up on a Friday

Messed up. Took my night meds in the morning because I was tired and in a hurry and didn't know what the fuck I was doing and was trying to blend a protein shake into yesterday's cold coffee, but it wouldn't dissolve so I tried the electric hand mixer and then the Cuisinart. And then it worked but it took too long and then I was worried the night meds would make me sleepy or act high during the day and I had to stand up all day and be nice to people and act like I cared when I just wanted to be in bed masturbating and sleeping.

Epic Political Suicide Poem

Suicide plans on post-it notes
scattered on surfaces,
pieces of furniture, countertops
throughout the apartment.
Stashes of pills stockpiled,
knives sharpened, razor blades
bought in bulk, handles of
bargain brand vodka.
A cozy robe.
Should you force yourself
to wash the sheets? Change
your underwear? Does it matter?
Should you care? Could anyone
care less than you? Suicide
as backup plan when
you can’t think of anything
better to do.