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LITERATE APE
Magazine
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The Regrettable Guilt Makes a Man Guilty
November 5, 2026
David Himmel
The Regrettable Guilt Makes a Man Guilty
November 5, 2026
David Himmel

The stomach tightens and sinks.
The heart and lungs follow.
It’s a confounding reaction to a receipt of affection.
It’s familiar, and, therefore, oddly comforting.

But familiarity can be a curse.
A cursed reminder of what once went wrong when you were just trying to do things right this time.
This time it’ll be different, you say.
Why? You’re different, but what are you doing differently?

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November 5, 2026
David Himmel

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Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 4/20/20 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 4/20/20

I Believe… [It’s the Flags You Fly That Brand You a Dipshit]

I believe… that no matter how righteous your protest, as soon as you display that Confederate flag and those swastikas, we all know you’re an asshole.

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Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 5/30/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 5/30/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Emergency Meeting of the Ambien Marketing Department

Our hashtag #Ambien is trending. That hasn’t happened in forever. Even when the whole department did the ALS challenge while on Ambien.

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Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 4/4/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 4/4/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Roseanne Season 2 Writer’s Room

Rosanne - With Jackie mortally wounded, I can be at her deathbed and her last words to me are, “You were right.” And I say, “I was alt-right.”

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