If I am to die shrouded in suspected criminal activity, promise me you’ll refer to me by my three names and only by my three names. “David Isaac Himmel, the alleged political assassin and box wine bootlegger, spent time as a teenager in the Ozark Mountains hunting squirrel and shooting old Pepsi cans with a .30-30 muzzleloader. He was also really good at driving stick shift in San Francisco.”

Someone somewhere probably said something like, “If you want to know unconditional love, get a puppy and have a baby.” That someone was an idiot.