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The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker
July 30, 2026
David Himmel
The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker
July 30, 2026
David Himmel

Andy disassembled his weapon with lighting speed. He packed it away in the black backpack made specifically for a weapon of this sort. He bolted to the roof access door as fast as his little, chubby legs would carry him. He made his way through the condo/office building stairwell without being noticed just as he had done on his way up. Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.

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July 30, 2026
David Himmel

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Coronavirus Task Force’s Plan to Distribute Trump Vaccines
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/18/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/18/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Coronavirus Task Force’s Plan to Distribute Trump Vaccines

The vaccine will be infused in Trump Vodka, Trump Steaks, and, for Native American communities, Trump Blankets

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Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 4, 2020
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 10/9/20 David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 10/9/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 4, 2020

Mike Pence is a virgin. I know he has kids—it doesn’t matter. Mike Pence is a virgin.

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The  Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Coronavirus Task Force Meeting
Joe Janes 3/11/20 Joe Janes 3/11/20

The  Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Coronavirus Task Force Meeting

While you eat McNuggets, I will gladly plant my face in your tossed salad.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Southern White House & Spa
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 1/8/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 1/8/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Southern White House & Spa

Trump – Nothing but bad hombres in Iran.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump 2026
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/24/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/24/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump 2026

Mike Pence had a breakdown last year and moved to Key West and does drag shows under the name Ernest SOHeminGAY!

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/20/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/20/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force

We’re being SUED and then we’ll be SUED again until it goes to the supreme COURT and we win when Kavanaugh’s vote butt CHUGS it in people’s faces.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Space Force – USS Trump 1776-D Emergency Officers Meeting
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 6/20/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 6/20/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Space Force – USS Trump 1776-D Emergency Officers Meeting

Our mission is to avoid strange new worlds. To seek out new sources of income. To boldly stay great.

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Emergency White House Task Force Meeting
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/1/17 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 11/1/17

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Emergency White House Task Force Meeting

-       “We’re hot!” said the president.

-       “Because we are on fire.” Said Chief of Staff Kelly

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