The Most Popular Pieces of 2019 | A Literate Ape Roundup
The Top Ten most read pieces of 2019!
Saying “I Love You to the Moon and Back” is an Empty Sentiment
“I love you to the moon and back.” Doesn’t sound very sincere. Sounds like hyperbole — the kind of thing you’d say to someone you don’t really like but really want to go down on you.
My Unborn Child is an Inconsiderate Little Jerk and I Can’t Wait to Get My Hands On Him
So, here we are. Waiting. Unsure of what to do. We keep doing all the things that can start and speed up labor like walking and massaging and having sex with spicy food. At this point, our lives are completely out of our hands and at the whims of the ungrateful terrorist holding my wife’s body and my need for a second scotch hostage.
Our society is becoming so reliant on systems that we’re inadvertently making ourselves less capable, less self-sufficient. Dumber. Hell, I don’t even wipe my ass anymore. I have a bidet do it.