![I Believe… [Hurricanes Give CNN Staffers Boners]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1536963404307-FV7F9XH7S8G61Q2DJTEE/ibelieve....jpg)
I Believe… [Hurricanes Give CNN Staffers Boners]
…that as horrifying as the latest hurricane is/was, all I can see in my mind’s eye is CNN programmers furiously masturbating (with consent from the female staffers, of course) as the ratings go higher and higher because nothing sells ads more than American disasters.
America has always sold itself like a potluck dinner—“Bring your culture! Bring your grandma’s recipes! Bring the funky spices we can pretend we invented!”