All the black characters in my next movie are played by Tyler Perry which proves I’m not racist!

Jean-Claude Pandemic! This time it’s personal space.

A dish with lots of ingredients is not de facto better than a dish with few ingredients. A painting with more colors is not automatically better than one with fewer. And art with multiple cultural influences and perspectives is not better than art with a more singular approach.

Keanu – And fight in slow motion, do that backwards arm thingie where I dodge bullets?

Lana – We’ll do all the cool stuff, of course, and try to find some new ways for you to dodge bullets or rockets or whatever. And even more guns. Guns are popular these days.

Carrie-Ann – Okay. So, let’s say Trinity is somehow still alive, even though she died, what am I going to wear?

Lana – Same outfits for everyone. Lots of tight black leather. Don’t worry, CGI does incredible things these days.

High-maintenance doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Owning a boat requires high-maintenance and I love owning a boat. Being a parent to a toddler requires high-maintenance and I love being a parent to a toddler. Flying a plane, driving a race car, being a professional athlete at the top of your game… all things that are high-maintenance. There are those who don’t want to deal with that sort of stuff, and that’s perfectly okay. Driving a Honda Civic while wearing a baseball hat because you didn’t style your hair is pretty low-maintenance. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Q says Tom Hanks is a pedo. Tom Hanks! That explains the sex scene in Big. And the sex scene that got cut in Turner and Hooch. 

FRANK: Script schmipt! We could turn the cameras on you and just have you be funny for 88 minutes. 

" I don’t know why masturbating in front of someone is considered assault. I’m the only one getting groped.