I Believe… [Corporate Speak]

...that Trump’s federal lockdown of D.C. police is less about crime control, and more about assembling an exclusive political flash mob—because nothing says “order” like militarized sidewalk choreography.

...that every Zoom or Meetings call is just a séance for productivity—summoning the ghost of our attention span and watching it flicker out in grainy 720p.

...that AT&T’s memo is less about cultural reset and more like a dystopian bedtime story: “Once upon a time, we cared. But now, bring back the ghosts of your motivation anyway.”

...that the phrase “Just loop me in” is corporate code for “I want to handcuff myself to your brain until one of us dies.”

...that the trick is to treat work as a tool, not a temple. You wouldn’t build your self-worth around your hammer, would you?