GOP Reflects On January 6th, National Bean Day
See? Black beans! Because the GOP is diverse and not racist.
My Thoughts About January 6th,
National Bean Day
by GOP Leader Kevin McCarthy
January 6th holds a special place in the hearts of true patriots. It’s National Bean Day! Beans come in a variety of sizes, shapes, and colors, just like God fearing Americans. Today is the day to celebrate their culinary contributions to our bellies by eating baked beans, chili, three-bean salads, etc. Beans provide a significant source of protein. Not only are beans an exceptionally healthy meal and snack choice, but they supply an excellent source of fiber. They are low in fat and are high in complex carbohydrates, folate, and iron, too.
I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge what January 6th is also known for. It’s also National Cuddle Up Day! Some people may scoff at celebrating National Bean Day AND National Cuddle Up Day, but in my household, we have two different kinds of Dutch Ovens. Just ask my wife. She loves them both as do my employees. “Cuddle Up to Beans!”, I say, while throwing a fart-filled blanket over my chief of staff’s head.
Here’s my favorite bean recipe!
Take thousands of angry beans and gather them together.
Shout angry things at them about how they were robbed.
Pour them into a government building.
Hide and cower while they simmer for a few hours.
Support partisan voting restrictions while stirring.
Enjoy!
Let us spend today remembering how beans have made our lives richer and how empty our existence would be without them. Evil communist socialist ANTIFA BLM Democrats won’t celebrate this great national holiday and want to distract you with other less important things because the Biden administration has no recipes to share.
Democrats want this child aborted.