Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 14, 2019
• I feel terrible that I took advantage of Amazon Prime Day. Working conditions are horrendous. No one should be put through that kind of strain so someone else can buy ankle weights or board books for children. Totally worth it, though, if someone is buying The Last DJ.
• You want proof God exists? I had just completed a fifty-minute hill run. Up and down, up and down. Hard stuff. And when I was done, I saw a Lyft scooter waiting for me. My tired legs didn’t have to carry me home. Thank you, Lord. #Blessed
• My son and my dog appear to be more interested in my dangly genitals than any woman has ever been.
• I own a boat. I do not belong to a yacht club. So when the war breaks out, don’t come for me. Let me be your Navy.
• There’s a Top Gun sequel coming at us in 2020. I’m excited for it. But I’m also reminded of how goddamn difficult the Top Gun Nintendo video game was. I never once managed to land my jet on the aircraft carrier. Did you? And if so, how in the living fuck did you do that!?
• If the Russians want to use my privacy to sell whatever Russians sell or attempt to influence another American election, the joke is on them. I don’t have any privacy. None of us do. Google and Facebook and your own stupid phone saw to that years ago.