Don Hall 5/6/19 Don Hall 5/6/19

I Believe… [Cosplayer is an Identity, Too]

…that identity may be a kind of expertise but it is only an expertise in being oneself. The desire to tribe up and gain power through identifiers is a strong one but using your culture, skin color, gender, sex, or political leanings is absolutely no different than identifying as a cosplayer, a foodie, or a sports fan.

Don Hall 4/29/19 Don Hall 4/29/19

I Believe… [Discarding Mitch is More Important than Slapping Trump]

…that if we truly want to get things moving on things like Medicare For All and the New Green Deal, our priority should be focused on unseating McConnell. The DNC should put every dollar possible into getting rid of that venomous little fuckface.

Don Hall 4/22/19 Don Hall 4/22/19

I Believe… [Game of Moans]

…that in the Game of Moans that is the non-stop embrace of victimhood, among the least convincing is that your Instagram following has been blocked and you can no longer get free hotel rooms and restaurant meals in exchange for an Influencer plug. Also that the Burger King won’t refund you for the undercooked burger because of your race.

Don Hall 4/15/19 Don Hall 4/15/19

I Believe… [Everyone Has Some Advantage]

…that with the lens of intersectionality as it now stands, the term “privilege” has been rendered meaningless.

Don Hall 4/8/19 Don Hall 4/8/19

I Believe… [Be An Ally Who Doesn't Self Loathe]

…that one can be a cis, heterosexual, white male in America and advocate for anti-racism and anti-sexism and LGTBQ rights without feeling guilty for being a cis, heterosexual, white male or campaigning against masculinity or whiteness.

Don Hall 4/1/19 Don Hall 4/1/19

I Believe… [Dressing Up Opinion as Gospel]

…that, if your demand is to confront and challenge but to avoid being confronted or challenged, “speaking your truth” is nothing more than hypocrisy. Your truth is not THE truth merely another aggrandizement of your opinion.

Don Hall 3/25/19 Don Hall 3/25/19

I Believe… [The Search for Brilliance in a Dismal Time]

…that, in the Age of Hyperbole, perhaps it is a salve to give us some hope in the world, but the words masterpiece, brilliant, and cinematic genius are being thrown around for really good but hardly extraordinary films.

Don Hall 3/18/19 Don Hall 3/18/19

I Believe… [We're Only Human]

…that there is nothing wrong with capitalism and the only thing wrong with any system of economic structure (communism, socialism, etc.) is that people in power always want more. Even (most) wonderful people with grand altruistic hopes become greedy monsters when afforded power.

Don Hall 3/11/19 Don Hall 3/11/19

I Believe… [90% of Republicans Approve of The Trump, We Might Want to Re-strategize This Deal]

…that if 90 percent of Republicans approve of Donald’s “work” as president in February 2019, we’re doing a piss-poor job persuading them otherwise.

Don Hall 3/4/19 Don Hall 3/4/19

I Believe… [Give No Tantrum a Cookie]

…that when you reward petulance in order to avoid the conflict, the conflict will be ever-present. The tantrum-throwing child (or adult) should never be given the cookie to placate them.

Don Hall 2/25/19 Don Hall 2/25/19

I Believe… [Getting Lost is the Road to the New]

…that the best way to discover a new city is to put the GPS away, hop in the car, and drive until you are hopelessly lost. You look around and see the corners and turns, the businesses and people, then find your way back. Repeat.

Don Hall 2/18/19 Don Hall 2/18/19

I Believe... [“Fragile” is an Invitation for Abuse]

...that the height of delusional expectation is demonstrated most clearly when you write “Fragile” on a box being moved 2,000 miles cross-country. It’s like the box is a fat kid with a perpetually snotty nose in tight yellow Adidas shorts and a stutter — the bullies get in line to toss him under a couch.

Don Hall 2/11/19 Don Hall 2/11/19

I Believe... [We’re All Just Lazier Than Ted Bundy]

...that our collective fascination with serial killers is fucking morbid and shows us all to be the monsters who think — a lot — about murdering people but lack the gumption.

Don Hall 2/4/19 Don Hall 2/4/19

I Believe… [Why Billionaires Shouldn't Run For Public Office]

…that the notion that billionaires are more qualified than others to run the country is founded on the capitalist belief that CEOs are somehow better leaders due to their success in swindling others to amass an unnecessary and obscene fortune. Creating wealth is a fundamentally selfish pursuit; civil service is a selfless occupation. We shouldn’t mix the two.

Don Hall 1/28/19 Don Hall 1/28/19

I Believe… [No. You Come See MY Show...]

…that in the wake of goodbyes and farewells associated with leaving Chicago, your request that I come see your show before I leave is just so baldly self-promotional it renders me cold and crunchy.

Don Hall 1/21/19 Don Hall 1/21/19

I Believe… [154 Days Per Bullet]

…that six and three-quarters years is not a sentence for sixteen shots.

Don Hall 1/14/19 Don Hall 1/14/19

I Believe… [But Th-Th-They Do It, Too!]

…that the act of pointing out the bad behavior of others when confronted with your own is the act of a child. This is true for presidents, improv comedians, and people caught littering.

Don Hall 1/7/19 Don Hall 1/7/19

I Believe… [The Monotony of Public Outrage]

…that when outrage becomes so normal and monotonous that the expression of it is merely annoying rather than inspiring, perhaps a step back is necessary. I’m not tone policing, I’m tone suggesting.

Don Hall 12/31/18 Don Hall 12/31/18

I Believe... [Advertisers Should Die Uncomfortably]

..that after spending a week plus in Kansas, I can say that the worst thing about this country and the lives of a vast swath of its citizens is having to endure television advertising. Fucking Geico commercials can destroy even Godfather Part II. It’s like having an annoying 14-year old keep interrupting your show every fifteen minutes to poke you in the chest repeatedly, make armpit farts, and twerk to mouth-made beats. For three fucking hours.

Don Hall 12/24/18 Don Hall 12/24/18

I Believe… [Christmas Layoffs Are the Spawn of Hell]

…that any company that fires someone just before Christmas should be burned to the ground. That includes lauded comedy institutions, banks, orphanages, and indie record stores.