I Love You and I Want You to Suck My Dick
I hate all your ugly, stupid, too fat, too thin, too short, too tall,
too rich, too poor, too humorless, too pathetic, too unintellectual,
too pedestrian, too suburban, too mainstream, too short-sighted,
too ignorant, too conniving, too dishonest, too two-faced,
TOO UGLY girlfriends.
When Ali, Casey, and I were in college down in central Illinois, we lived in this great place just a block off campus. It was situated at the top of a hill overlooking the town smack dab in the middle of Greek Row, snuggled between the Beta and SAE houses—a modest, three-bedroom house with a front porch and back patio, and yard that made it ideal for barbecues and other themed or not themed parties.