Mass Aborting at Oklahoma Supermarket!
Police barricade Tony’s Supermarket in Sweetwater, Oklahoma to prevent any collateral abortions.
by Joe Janes
Americans wake up to yet another mass aborting this morning. Shortly after 10am, a rogue doctor gave abortions to 14 people – whether they needed it or not - at Tony’s Supermarket in the small town of Sweetwater. The victims included thirteen women and an elderly man named Kenny. According to Kenny, he rarely gets anything free from a doctor, so why not?
The doctor, whose name has not been released by law enforcement, was clad in light blue scrubs and a white lab coat. He did most of the procedures in the International Foods aisle near the malt vinegar and spotted dick.
According to the county sheriff, the doctor’s social media accounts were filled with lunatic rantings promoting “free health care”, “women’s rights”, and “disrupting the domestic supply of infants”. The same radical talking points found on The Rachel Maddow Show.
One victim, who wished to remain anonymous, said that even though she didn’t ask for an abortion, the doctor had a pleasant bedside manner and Tony’s has very clean floors.
The doctor is believed to have acted alone and is said to have given his grandmother an abortion before heading into the supermarket.
The constitutional right to an abortion is banned in Oklahoma except in cases of just kidding there are no exceptions.
The governor has condemned the actions of the abortion doctor and vowed to give the death penalty to the doctor and all 14 of his victims, including Kenny.
Police were able to stop the culprit when he attempted to abort himself in the parking lot.
According to police reports, there were three actual terminated pregnancies and the “hosts” were happy to not have to travel out of state to get an abortion. Their peanut-sized zygotes will receive state funerals at the capitol in Oklahoma City next week.
Mass abortings have been on the rise in this country since many states have banned it and the conservative members of the Supreme Court of the United States have indicated their intent to overturn Roe Vs. Wade. Planned Parenthood, the largest US wholesale supplier of abortions and advocate of reproductive rights has issued a statement calling for thoughts and prayers. Alexis McGill Johnson, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood, said, “The only way to stop a bad doctor with a scalpel is good, quality health care for all.”
In the wake of today’s tragedy, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell at a press conference said this is exactly the right time to politicize abortion.