A Cruel Summer in Need of Some Hugs...Or Something
Violent crime is way up across the Land of the Freaks and the Home of the Bray.
While it stimulates the snake brain to focus on the isolated but consistent cases of fame-seeking suicidal incels gunning up random places and the inexplicable cases of police using bullets to calm people down (because no one gets calmer than dead), it's getting dire all over and far more murders are out of range of smartphone cameras.
Major U.S. cities experienced a 33% rise in homicides, and 63 of the 66 largest police jurisdictions saw an increase in at least one category of violent crime, according to a report from the Major Cities Chiefs Association.
Things aren't as bad as they were in the 90's—for example, New York City had 462 homicides in 2020 but in 1990 the city recorded 2,605 murders. This isn't another opportunity to start screaming and running around, tearing out chunks of hair in fear but summer is coming and historically American summer is the season for tan lines, barbecues, and killing people.
The jingoists among us will say that it stems from an attack on the reputations of police and an illegitimate president. The social activists will zero in on the almost absurdist rise in gun sales during the Pandemic Year and the increasingly vocal white nationalism creeping into the discourse.
Criminologists don't see things quite so simply. These are complex issues and most of the solutions are unlikely to be affected writ large by those most likely to spout uninformed "common sense" opinions on Twitter. Major systemic issues are not solved via TikTok despite the vast movement of legislation enacted due to an influencer doing magic tricks with her bikini top.
The experts (as in people educated and employed to have the most valuable opinions on these subjects) indicate a host of possible causes in tandem with one another:
The very institutions that exist to give a place for those most left out (community centers, public schools, government subsidized programs, etc.) aren't functioning fully because of...yup...the pandemic.
Perceptions of both police and political illegitimacy is a two-side blade guaranteed to cut hard in all areas of increasingly public life.
Guns, Lotsa fucking guns.
There's been plenty of (justifiable) hay made demanding that the 2% or so of America's police adopt and employ more robust de-escalation techniques (you know, rather than use a gun as a pacifier) but those other four fingers are pointing right back at us.
The statistics do not indicate that the majority of this rising violent crime wave is coming due to gang activity or drug related crime. No, the biggest slice of the recent homicide pie is what we call 'crimes of passion.' Jilted lovers, strangers in a dispute over traffic or masks, kids fighting over skateboards. Instead of the gentle music of a fistfight, because we all are so emotional retarded and can buy guns like Harry Potter fans can buy vomit-flavored jelly beans, there's just a lot less de-escalating and a bunch more bullet wounds.
We need some de-escalation techniques of our own.
I read a bizarre listicle penned by none other than Ben Franklin (back when BuzzFeed was known as He Who Feedeth the Buzz) that catalogue several traits that make people unlikeable. Top of the list was the tendency to talk too much, to hold court in conversations. Given that is perhaps my superpower, I find myself mentally preparing for social interactions and reminding myself to speak as much like Hemingway writes as possible. Hyper-masculine and in short, simple sentences. I'm not frequently successful but the exercise pops up when I find myself railroading a conversation and causes me to temper it in the moment.
Top of your list is your childish emotional response. The thin-skinned belief that you're the center of things and any sign that you have been disrespected or overlooked must be met with full-on, scorched earth tantrums. That you must control the behavior of those around you.
De-escalate. That tantrum-mode is only slightly different than a cop who tells a suspect to stop running and they don't. His job description implies control of others and that lack of self control is deadly.
How to de-escalate? Prepare yourself.
The first area to prepare is awareness of yourself. Be aware of your tone of voice, of your body positioning, of those physical signs that you are losing some of your shit. For me, when my neck gets red, when I get actively louder, when my hands tense into balls, I'm on the edge. If I want to de-escalate, I focus my awareness on myself rather than the other person.
The second area is, well, the other person. What's going on with them that requires the heightened emotion and anger? Derail that with humor or empathy or non-sequitur nonsense. Anything that interrupts the flow of pointless and self centered rage.
Third, ask yourself if this altercation—whatever reason it is—is a hill you'd be willing to die on. And, in this case and in this upcoming summer, I mean literally die on. Picture a tombstone. Your tombstone.
"He died because someone called him a name."
"She died because someone told her to smile."
"He died over a parking spot."
"She died because the manager wouldn't let her in the store without a mask."
How serious is this situation and how far are you willing to take things to prove you're in the right? Most—and I mean most—arguments in real time are not worth getting shot in the face over.
Finally embrace the simple truth that the best philosophies developed over eons are centered on control of the self. The most odious ideologies created are centered on the control of others.
And maybe we should, in the order of controlling others, curtail the sale of guns just a little bit. As awful as it is to see two dudes beating the crap out of each other in a casino over something, it's far better than a video of someone getting shot for cheating on his girlfriend.
