The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Batman is the Night! Or Just Batman.
Batman’s Nabs His First Crook
An Alley in Gotham
Tuesday, September 15 10:30pm
Attendance: Batman, Crook
(A crook is packing stolen DVD players into the trunk of his car. Batman swoops down from a fire escape and grabs the crook by his collar and gets in his face.)
Crook – Who are you!?!
Batman – I’m Batman.
Crook – Okay. I can see that. Now that you’ve said it.
Batman – I am the night.
Crook – Oh. So, should I call you Sir Batman?
Batman – What? No! I am the night.
Crook – Right. The knight. Knights, you know, have usually been knighted. Like at Medieval Times. You should ride a horse.
Batman – Bats don’t ride horses. I have a car.
Crook – So, you’re a batman—
Batman – The Batman. Or just Batman.
Crook – And you’re a knight.
Batman – I am the night. Night like, not the day.
Crook – Oh. You are the night. Like PM. After dusk.
Batman – That’s right.
Crook – Good for you.
Batman – Do you not understand what that means?
Crook – It sounds cool.
Batman – I am the night. I am the darkness. I’m nocturnal.
Crook – Like a bat.
Batman – That’s right.
Crook – So, if one is nocturnal, they are also the night.
Batman – Just me. I am the night. I come out at night to find criminals like you.
Crook – With your echolocation.
Batman – I don’t have echolocation.
Crook – But, you’re Batman. Half bat, half man. Like Spider-man.
Batman – I’m not a bat. I just dress like one.
Crook – Are you going to arrest me or something?
Batman – I’m not a cop. I’m Batman.
Crook – And the night.
Batman – I just tie you up until the police arrive.
Crook - Okay. Could we get to that part, please?
Batman – Do you think I should drop the night thing?
Crook – It was a little confusing. But I also thought you were a bat.
This is the night.