The Official White House Moving Sale – Everything Must Go!!!

Dec 2

Written By Joe Janes

The Official White House Moving Sale

- Christmas tree display transplanted from a nearby Lowe’s Christmas aisle

- A bunker’s worth of disinfectant, hydroxychloroquine, and MyPillow pillows (creepy guy included)

- Resolute Desk from the Oval Office – SOLD

- Tiny temporary desk available January 20th

- One “I Really Don’t Care, Do You?” coat worn once

Good for visiting caged migrant children

- Unopened gift from Michelle Obama

- Easter Bunny with Corrective Lenses costume once worn by DWTS Sean Spicer

- The nation’s stockpile of PPE and defibrillators

- Many COVID-19 press posters that make great souvenirs

Each comes with a complimentary Sharpie

- Several opened umbrellas – as is

- One Bible good for photo-ops

- 30 miles worth of fencing

Almost good for keep out illegal immigrants and protestors

- Vice-President Mike Pence – loyal, plays well with other Christian pets (no homos)

- Make an offer - Every sale over $5,000 gets a free presidential pardon

Joe Janes