Turns out that Don is just one year younger than Abraham Lincoln was when he was shot and that David is getting older by the day because his child is almost three and living in a pandemic.

David takes parenting advice from the least qualified source in history and then the boys settle in on the ups and downs of being a writer for a living. Also WARNING: Complete spoiler alert for the Netflix film The Vanishing featuring a fat Jason Patric and a nonexistent child disappearance. Oops. Sorry.

Last week’s events have thrown the boys off. Reactions to the breach of the Capitol, a bizarre truncated BUGHOUSE! Debate about whether Congress should impeach the Donald again and if there’s any point to it, plus David plays Capitol Police to Harry’s MAGA Traitor (except Harry vacuums instead of takes a selfie at Pelosi’s desk).

The Apes have ten predictions for the coming (happy or relieved) new year. Do you agree with them? Are they completely cracked? Welcome to 2021 (which sounds like 2020 Won)!

Harry wants to watch the iPad but the battery is dead. His two-year old existential angst is a metaphor for 2020 and the Chimps in Charge break down their hopes for the coming year.

After a group text when a trusted intellectual lowers the conspiracy-boom on both the Apes, the boys chat about how to square the circle and not simply shun their friend. Also, Don is leaving his work as a casino manager to work remotely and wonders what big life-changing risks are worth it?

David has hit what we call a “writer’s Block” and the two Apes do nothing whatsoever to help him. That and some deviations into the similarities of the Extreme Left and Right, whether Dan Brown is a worse writer than the broad who wrote “Fifty Shades of Gray,” and the stupidity of replacing vowels with the letter ‘x’.

Would David rather have his son blow a load in face or sneeze in it? Can David tell an appropriately funny Parkinson’s Disease joke? What exactly is the Sack Pack? What is truly the root of evil if there is even such a thing?

Both happy liberals, Don and David muse where they were when they heard Biden had been anointed, a brief interlude as Harry imitates a losing Trump, and our assessment of why the Left needs to do some serious self reflection in preparation for 2022.

Don poses the question. David deflects. Don poses it again. David wants to talk about Rachel Maddow. Don keeps asking. The answers are as muddy and scattered as the 2020 debates.

In this (mostly) musical episode, David drops that he hates “Hotel California” and Don challenges it, producer Dana swoops in to interpret the Himmel dreams, and David comes back with his analysis of Don Henley as the Ira Glass of Rock.

David is previously engaged so get all quarantined and settle in to twenty-four things to do while you wait for Trump to stop having supper spreader events across the nation.

D&D start off congenial enough — a moment with David’s kid, some brief discussion of the presidential debate. Then the pleasantries are discarded as they battle it out on the question: Are We Currently in a Civil War in America? It gets ugly.

In a world so completely falling apart, how does one maintain even a semblance of optimism? DH (squared) get into the weeds on this one and still manage to demonstrate an almost pathological ignorance of names and geography.

After a week off to celebrate their respective anniversaries, the gentlemen chimps wax on about Don’s eleventh tattoo experience and David keeps drinking and talking. And drinking. And talking.

The topics today revolve around Don’s curiosity at what David actually does as a “Creative Director” and the fact that neither of them are finding voice for their personal writing in the midst of work hours, family, and the crushing hate from all sides of the political spectrum. Also, David really wants you to watch that movie with the actor who died recently with the name that confuses him.