All in Literate ApeCast

Literate ApeCast Ep. 85 — Artists Steal, Harry Has an Email Address, and Belknap is a C**t

Following a barely anonymous accusation of plagiarism, the Co-Editing Simians wax on (and on) about the accuser, the concept of artists who cover the music of other artists, and the question of whether intellectual property is a gate or a fence.

Plus, some things to read and watch to help you form your own opinion while wiping the drool off of your chin after drinking a PBR and watching Fox & Friends dictate your sad, myopic worldview.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 84 — Go to Mexico, Get Lobster Pizza?

For David’s fortieth birthday, he and his wife Katie went to Mexico to swim with the whale sharks, soak in the rich Mexican culture and food like pizza and chicken fingers, and lay on the beach to relax without the kid. Things were not as advertised.

Plus six items of homework for you to do as you seethe in jealousy at the success of other people and think about writing a show to insult them repeatedly but realize it’s all due to your easily bruised ego.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 83 — Forty Years Old? Might as Well Cash It In, Old Man!

It’s David Himmel’s fortieth birthday today! He and Katie hit the road for birthday R&R in Mexico so this is an episode compiled of a few random conversations that never made it before — David’s tricks to freelancing, his predictions of who he will be post-forty, a clip of him getting his first tattoo, and a deep dive into his frustration that Katie doesn’t drive stick (that’s not a sex joke, btw).

Plus, Dana and I present six things for either David to do or for you to do in tribute of the Himmelian.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 82 — Birth Control for Men, We Love Our Bloodshed and the Hopelessness of Political Compromise

Two morons took over the ApeCast! One saw John Wick, Chapter 3 — Parabellum and wondered about whether he could love it and still be anti-gun, the other wants to explore ways men can practice birth control, and then both get into the seemingly hopeless nature of finding political compromise.

Plus three things from one and three things from other’s wife to do this week (not including looking up “copper birth control” on Google).

Literate ApeCast Ep. 81 — Which is the Worst Bad Movie: Batman & Robin, Short Bus, or Attack of the Clones? And Will Desi Arnez, Jr. Become Don’s Bela Lugosi?

After last week’s nerd-fight over Endgame, Don & David dive into movies so bad that they aren’t even fun-bad. The only true disagreement is David’s hatred for The Dark Knight Rises and Don’s love for it. Then they look at movies or books that are indicative of their lives right now and why David hasn’t written a screenplay yet.

And, due to your confirmed general anxiety syndrome and lack of curiosity in the world beyond your navel and the inside of an Eggo’s box, the boys provide six things to watch, read or listen to in order to prevent you from eating that pistol in your Archie lunchbox.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 80 — We Spoil Endgame in This Podcast and Discuss How Exactly Time Travel Works (Because Three Nerds Apparently Know…)


Don and David blow out the Endgame Spoilers right off the bat in discussing their deeply felt reactions to this cultural benchmark. Then, they bring in Literate Apester Brian Sweeney and get into the lack of Captain Marvel (in Endgame and in her own solo film) and then things get dicey and nerdy as the dialogue comes to David’s dislike of Professor Hulk, Brian’s dislike of the hastily crafted script, and Don’s unfettered love for the decision of Captain America to go back and live out an alternate life with Peggy Carter. Trust me, it gets mega-geeky and too fucking specific and demonstrates that nerds are just as insanely angry as activists.

Finally, we get to six things for you to do this week following processing the end of Phase…3?4?…whatever…of the MCU.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 79 — Whose Death Is It Anyway?

David and Don start with a Washington Post article (The Funeral As We Know It Is Becoming a Relic — Just in Time for a Death Boom) and get into a dialogue about death, funerals, Don’s notion of the Tyranny of the Least Tolerant, and the odd nature of social media and how it affects the realities of grief and memorial.

They also task you with six homework assignments of items designed to give your pathetic mouth-breathing life a spark of hope in the light of every Leftist candidate being a piece of shit according to someone.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 78 — I Have a Yeast Infection, So Am I a Baker?

The boys are joined by Vincent Truman and get into a bizarre, bit-filled circular conversation about the concept of what makes an artist: intent or cash? Is calling yourself a writer enough to pass the bar or do you have to actually be good enough to make a living? Vincent also explains why he thinks background acting isn’t really acting.

Plus six things to do to boost your social capital despite your post-breakup weight gain and claim of self-diagnosed PTSD.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 77 — I’m Nothing Without My Following! Influencers, Public Freakouts, and Homework

Don may have a real problem. Youtube rabbit holes. In today’s episode the Gentlemen Chimps look into the tragedy of Instagram Influencer Jessy Taylor and the bizarre viral trend of compiling live videos of people losing their shit in public. David read something in The Atlantic about homework and it has him really pissed (but not enough to freakout in public while being video’d by some random dipshit).

In addition, with the knowledge that if you are listening to this podcast, you are a truly sad and lonely human primate in need of things to do, as always the guys present six things to do, watch, listen to or read.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 76 — Is Tyler Durden Also Neo And Can All The Complainers Shut The Fuck Up?

D & D spend a little time discussing the twentieth anniversaries of both Fight Club and The Matrix, get in deep about Plato’s Cave, and parse out their complaints about the fact that people who complain are fundamentally as unhealthy as second hand smoke.

With six assignments (that include avoiding Tim Burton’s Dumbo at all costs) that guarantee your limited winning potential at a random bar trivia night if the topics include Orson Well’s unfinished final movie.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 75 — Six Ways to NOT Prank Your Wife On April Fool’s (Unless She’s Wearing Leggings In Wicker Park)

This week, we deal with dilemmas that David has but can’t admit to his therapist: his random boners in the park now that Spring is approaching and how to most effectively prank Katie and still stay married on April 1st. Yup…it’s like eavesdropping on a middle-aged man in therapy if his therapist were a cranky burned out former rugby coach.

Plus, as usual, six assignments for you to complete this week to avoid reading about the next mass shooting, climate disaster, or Trumpenstein step in shit.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 74 — Don Solidifies His Grumpy Old Man Bonafides While David Seeks a Pre-School

The boys parse out the idea that children protesting is either merely political theater or a sign of a better future as well as the search for a proper pre-school for 12-month old Prince Harry sends David into a rage about little kid mucus.

Also, six assignments for you to accomplish in the week that guarantee you’ll be smarter and better than a six-year old kid protesting climate change while screaming about the lack of Oreos in his lunchbag.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 73 — Underwhelmed by Captain Marvel, Overwhelmed by the Desperate Need for Optimism in the Shadow of the Coming Demise

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, you bunch of suburban racists!

This week, D & D jump into their less than enthusiastic reflections on the latest Marvel film, discuss the need for optimism in the Age of Trump, and are joined by American Shithole scribe Eric Wilson to talk about his latest piece, finding any sense of hope in light of Deep Adaptation: A Map for Navigating Climate Tragedy, and how to talk to the Other side after they’ve been brainwashed with thirty years of FOX News.

Plus six assignments for you to accomplish to stave off the encroaching dread that forces you awake at 3:15AM and makes you seriously consider offing yourself by walking slowly into a lake.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 72 — The Death of Luke Perry, the Humor of McSweeney’s, and Rolly Pollies

David and Don bemoan how completely, horrifyingly unfunny McSweeney’s has become, those movies they watched a billion times as kids, the passing of 52-year old 90210 icon Luke Perry, and a quick realization that all the bugs are dying off with the planet. Also, with Himmel’s crap headphones, it sounds like Hall is recording in a canyon.

Plus, six things to do instead of trolling Faceborg and Snapchat while being paid a sub-par wage in a soul-sucking cubicle gig that is just casually ticking the moments of your life away.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 71 — The Greatest Guitar Bands in History (or Fuck You, Sammy Hagar)

The Gentlemen Apes discuss the Chicago Mayoral Election and have Literate Ape fiction writer/poet Dana Jerman to get into a deep dive talking about the Greatest Guitar Rock Bands of all time. From The Who to Jimi Hendrix to The Donnas, this episode simply rocks!

They also offer you six suggestions to spice up your life guaranteed to clear up your skin and extend your balls and/or labia lips to porn star proportions.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 70 — He Who Smollett, Dollett

As two people who did not immediately buy into the Smollett hoax, Don and David weigh in about the controversy, spend some time on David finally getting his wife gifts that aren’t about him and his goofy-ass sense of humor, the hierarchy of gift-giving holidays, establishing the fact that using a black thumbs up emoji as a white person is not code switching, and Don wins the lottery by being considered a “senior citizen” at the age of 50+ in Las Vegas.

Tagging the end of this illuminating babble is a list of six things for you to do to keep yourself occupied until next week’s episode.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 67 — Both Don And The Super Bowl Are 53 Today

Which has a more important place in the world: the 53rd Annual Super Bowl or the 53rd Anniversary of Don Hall on the planet? Even larger than that answer are the five things Old Man Hall has learned during the year that the NFL decided to be both commercial and racist.

Also, the Gentlemen Chimpanzees gift you with six things to do this week that will allow you to regrow the brain cells destroyed watching a fucking football game.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 66 — Where Were You on 9/11, Sandy Hook, and When That Kid Smirked At The Indian?

Just like the rest of the country, the bizarre thought experiment heretofore known as the Smirking Kid and The Indian, Don and David weave into and out of the details of that viral moment, David’s decision to wade into the Woke pool for a moment, the derailing of American journalism by the internet, and the duality of human sin.

Also, six pieces of homework because you don’t know how to do the research for yourself so we do it for you. You’re welcome, America.