Literate ApeCast Ep. 30 — Money Does Not Have To Destroy Your Marriage
More marriages end due to money issues than any other reason so the Apes dive into strategies to keep it from disintegrating before your eyes, jump down the cliff of the anxiety of freelancing some more and glide down memory lane pointing out some of their favorite vacations.
Plus we get a “you were there” recording of David’s grandmother seeing his tattoo for the first time and as always, six tasks for you to accomplish this week so your own money-deprived wedded hell blowing up in your face doesn’t cause you to end your week in a gutter with a tampon soaked in heroin in your ass.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 29 — Your Personal Truth Is a Bunch Of Crap
How much of what we read is truth and how much is fiction? Extrapolating from the works of both Tim O’Brien and Oliver Sacks, the monkeys in charge go down a rabbit hole of the impossibility of finding objective truth when our brains are not hardwired to see it. From fiction to storytelling to accusations and jury duty (with a quick detour into the Kennedy Assassination), these two idiots still have no real answers.
They do, however, have six tasks for you to attempt for the week that will ensure you don’t burn your eyeballs with the image of your lint-filled belly button while eating only Hot Pockets and jerking off to the same PornHub video of step siblings humping while mom is away.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 28 — A Clusterfuck of Overstaying Guests
On today’s episode, the Chimps in Charge discuss at length the problem with the friendly squatter, that person who needs a place to crash and never leave.
Plus they provide six things for you to do, watch, listen to or read for the week to fill your time so you don’t realize that nature wants you dead because your decaying flesh feeds the plants.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 27 — We’re All Dancing Fuckin’ Monkeys, Gimme a Peanut
Number 27 includes conversations with the boys about that new job smell, the tendency to be more social at the workplace than is wise, the Expectation Theory, the Starbucks bathroom policy, the question of the shelf life of redemption in the Age of #MeToo, and the weird new trend of Incels.
Also, six things for you to watch in the next week to ensure you have something to talk about when socializing with your semi-drunk colleagues after work on Friday.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 26 — Your Ballon Grief Doesn’t Count As Real
David and Don discuss the idea of someone you work with dying (prefaced by the passing of WWDTM’s Carl Kasell), the reframing of death, that impulse to stop yourself from posting something online that might need a moment of reflection, and the idea that social media prevents us from making mistakes and evolving into better people.
AND…six things for you to do, watch, read or listen to because in the plethora of choices, a little guidance might be helpful.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 25 — Whereby We Discover that David is the Arugula King of Drunks
Episode 25 includes Don and David discussing the recent controversy surrounding the Simpsons character Apu, the brilliance of Norman Lear, the cuisine of the alcoholic, and the fact that David is Ferris Bueller and Don is the guy who joyrides in Cameron’s dad’s car.
And, as always, six things for you to do as you endure the fucking non-Spring Spring of Chicago to avoid slitting your wrists.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 24 — Does Nostalgia Smother Creativity?
David brings up the big question: does today’s film and television circle jerk with nostalgia (Fuller House, Stranger Things, the new Roseanne) inhibit the impulse to create new ideas? Be warned: lots of nostalgia is present in the episode including Planet of the Apes, Will & Grace, and The Avengers. We also discover David’s unreasoning hatred for Joseph Gordon Levitt.
And, as always, the boys provide six tasks for you to fulfill your Eagle Scout badge requirements because you can’t start a fire for shit…
Literate ApeCast Ep. 23 — Cocktail Vs. The Fisher King
Today Don and David discuss whether to put his new baby online for all manner of predators to view, the fact that David cooks like a Hipster Foodie, and each detail three movies that inspire them.
Plus six things to do so that your inert body won’t develop bedsores from just laying there for seven days.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 15 — David Tattoos His Emotional Support Animal On His Arm
In this episodes the co-editors of Literate Ape talk about racist sports mascots, cultural appropriation, tattoos, and the bizarre misrepresentation of emotional support animals.
Plus, we join David at Great Lakes Tattoo on his virgin voyage and six things for you to do with your otherwise dismal and pointless week.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 14 — LIVE! with Mike Vinopal & Brian Sweeney
On this, the first live episode of the ApeCast at GMan Tavern, Don, David and guests Mike Vinopal and Brian Sweeney talk about working as a television extra, the fact that Mike dated Don's wife before they got married, Jerry Lewis's The Day the Clown Cried, and each person's favorite film of 2017. Also, we are treated with a song by Mike.
Plus, as always, six things for you to do this week...
Literate ApeCast Ep. 13 — That Picture of Me at a Neo-Nazi Rally is Ruining My Life
In this episode, Don and David talk about an odd request from the publishing world of Literate Ape from a Neo-Nazi, the Aziz Ansar and Grace issue, and the eating of Tide Pods.
Plus six things you should do this week.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 12 — Rebranding The Homeless To Be As Cute As Puppies
This episode has Don and David discussing whether Oprah should run for president, the question of how to motivate altruism through self interest (or at least make those in need be as cute and charming as dogs), and the dilemma of loving music and film created by abusers and assholes.
And, as always, a few things they think you should do with your week.
LiterateApeCast Ep. 11 — Kim Jong Un is Draco Malfoy
David and Don talk about the freelance life which includes the HBO Harry Potter Marathon, how Kim Jong Un is the Draco Malfoy of current international relations, when to use toxic masculinity and how J.K. Rowling has created a Universe which we should all want to live in.
Plus six things for you to do this week.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 10 - Farewell To A Real Shit Year
In this final episode of 2017, the boys talk about David's NYE anniversary of losing his cherry, the chaotic, crap year we all just endured, and New Year's Resolutions.
Plus, six things to do as we enter into 2018.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 9 - Scrooge, Cratchit, or Clarence? David's Dilemma
Merry Christmas! In this episode, Don and David discuss their individual holiday traditions and then decide who they are within the narratives of A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life.
And, as always, six assignments for the committed ages out there...
Literate ApeCast Ep. 8 - 90% of Americans Agree We Should Have Ice Cream for Breakfast
On this episode, David and Don (self proclaimed "bloviating fuckheads") get into it about the RunPee app, the overturning of Net Neutrality, and the use of Rage as a tool rather being a Tool used by rage.
AND…six assignments for discerning gorillas...
Literate ApeCast Ep. 7 - Not Down With Italian Sausage Flavored Cheet-Ohs
In this episode, Don and David discuss divorces, David being sued by his kid 16 years from now, all the Al Franken stuff, and a focus group that gave Don food poisoning.
Plus six more assignments for the week.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 6 - Literary Punk Rock And Dennis DeYoung
On this episode, David and Don discuss the normalization of Neo_Nazis by the New York Times, the inclusive spelling of 'folx,' maybe waiting on die process for sexual harassers for a while and the fact that Dennis DeYoung is a complete asshole.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 5 - Looks Like David Sat in Gum...
On this episode, Don and David discuss the perils of chewing tobacco, David's tendency to show his nuts to strangers and the injury he sustained in the process, and the documentary "Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond" now on Netflix.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 4 - Patience, Don't Panic, & Persistence
In this episode, David and Don talk at length about losing steady jobs, how to weather the gig economy, the nature of working exclusively for a paycheck but ABSOLUTELY NOT about sexual harassment in the news.
Plus six things you should do this week.